


That Impressive Length

by FourChevrons



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dick pic fic, F/M, Fluff, Horny AF Nessian, Smut, cute fic, nessian smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-05 21:38:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11022090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FourChevrons/pseuds/FourChevrons
Summary: Cassian accidentally sends Nesta a dick pic.





	1. Drunken Mistakes

Cassian was roaring drunk, there's a reason for that. He's celebrating his recent accomplishment, he got Mor's phone number. 

While swaggering through the bar, heading for his friends' booth, Cassian relives the moment in his mind.

  _He sees that familiar golden hair across the hall. She's alone, her friends aren't with her. Cassian grabs the opportunity and walks up to Mor._

_"Hey."_

_Mor turns around and finds Cassian. 'Oh no, it's_ him _again.'_

_"Oh hey, Cassian. What's up?"_

_Cassian smiles when Mor said his name. "I just wanted to ask you if I can have your phone number. If that's okay with you."_

_'God, please say it's alright. Please say it's alright.' Cassian chants in the back of his mind._

_Mor internally cringes. She thinks of a way to say no politely. Does she have to say no? There is another option._

_"No problem, here's my phone number." And she gives Cassian a fake number, saving it in his cellphone._

_"Thanks, I'll text you when you're available." His grin could reach the heavens._

_'What a lucky day, man! Holy shit!'_

_Mor walks away with a tiny smile. 'In times like this, I wish I was out of the closet.'_

 Rhysand and Azriel were talking when Cassian slid to the booth seat beside Azriel. 

"You smell terrible." Azriel complained. 

"Well, I feel amazing. What were you two talking about?" 

"Just the upcoming overnight fieldtrip." Rhysand said, sipping from his glass of alcohol. 

"Overnight? That's a first for our school." He downed the entire beer, Cassian starts to see three Rhysands in his vision.

Azriel cursed under his breath. "I am sick of carrying this brute everytime he gets turnt."

Across the table, Rhysand grinned. "Bros are bros. I'm kinda stumped Feyre can't join us for the fieldtrip."

"You just wanna bang her in the overnight trip. Too bad she's a junior." Cassian guffawed, head swaying side to side.

Azriel followed suit. 

"Oh shut up." Rhys hissed.

"Az, where are we going for the trip?"

"There's the amusement park, the museum, and then the campsite in the middle of the forest near a waterfall. I heard we have to sleep in tents." Az informed the two.

"Well that sucks!" And Cassian drank until he blacked out.

* * * * *

 Words faded in and out of Cassian's hearing, he could only grasp fragments of it. 

"Ugh, he's so heavy."

"..he gained weight."

"Oh my goodness, what happened?" That was his mother's voice, well, adoptive mother.

Cassian heard murmurs and suddenly his body was being dragged to what felt like the familiar stairs of his home. 

He slowly opened his eyes. It was dark. "Wha-what are you doinnnnggg?" He slurred. 

"Getting, ugh, you to your bedroom so you can sleep and, ugh, then get sober." Rhysand grunted, hauling half of his body and Azriel in the other half.

Once they got him to his bed, the two left with glances of displeasure towards him. Cassian only smirked lazily. He could still feel the buzzing of alcohol in his system and the energy making sleep impossible to do. He was still drunk for fuck's sake.

 _'Damn, I got Mor's number.'_ He thought to himself with a chuckle. _'Better make use of it.'_

He unlocked his cellphone and went to type a text for Mor but the problem was what will he say? 

_'Shit. Should uhh, should I say I like her?'_

_'Maybe I should Google 'How to show signs of attraction in text form'. That sounds stupid.'_

_'Texting is hard. Taking pictures though is easy.'_

With the alcohol clouding his mind, he pulled his member out. It was semi-hard because of the drunken thoughts he had with Mor which he would never think when sober. A cell in his right hand and his dick in the other, Cassian grinned devilishly.

 _'What better way to show attraction than a dick pic.'_ And with that last thought of his, Cassian took a picture of his dick and sent it to Mor.

Or atleast he thought it was Mor.

* * * * *

It was midnight and the cold night air breezing through her window made her sleep delightful until her phone rang.

**_beeeep beeeep beeeeep_ **

Nesta Archeron swore and reached at her bedside table for her infernal phone. She frowned at the unknown number. She was not in the mood for any shit tonight. Unlocking her phone, Nesta opened the message and the image attached appeared.

Nesta felt her cheeks burn, not with shame but with fury. 

"Feyre!" Nesta shrieked. 

"What the fuck, Nesta? It's like twelve midnight." Feyre stomped into her room, eyes drowsy.

She shoved the phone's screen at Feyre's face. "Ew, can you like get it away from me." 

Withdrawing her phone, Nesta said "Somebody sent this to me. Do you know whose wang this is?"

Her younger sister blushed. She only slept with three people and one of them is five thousand miles away. "That's way to thick to be Tamlin's and Rhys' different." Feyre kept the image of Rhysand's member to herself.

Nesta stared at the image again. "Then whose is it?"


	2. The Chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian deals with his drunken mistake and chases Mor. Feyre punishes Nesta for keeping her up all night by letting her join them for lunch.

There was a lecture in Physics and Cassian sat at the very back of the classroom to doze some more. He was hungover. 

As the teacher droned on and on about shit Cassian doesn't wanna know for now, he was hit by a flashback of last night's events. 

_A booth where Rhys and Az sat._

_His bedroom bathed in black._

_A phone and his cock._

Cassian jolted in his seat at the last image.  _'What did I do last night?'_ His thought was tinged with mild panic.

Fishing his phone out of his pocket, Cassian opened the inbox with Mor and beheld the image in front of him with bulging eyes. 

_'F U C K !'_

He sank to his seat and covered his face with shaking hands. Cassian was horrified, immensely. His hungover seemed to vanish but replaced with a terrible pounding of his heart. This was terrible, he wanted to time travel twelve hours ago to prevent this from ever happening.

 _'I should explain to Mor in person and apologize. I should.'_ He drew a sharp breath and waited until lunch to confront Mor. 

The wait felt like an eternity.

* * * * *

"Where are you taking me?" Nesta demanded while trying to free herself from Feyre's grip. She was surprised her little sister had such strength for someone who hardly slept last night. 

Feyre gave her a sidelong glance, faint dark circles were under her eyes. "You owe me one after last night."

After recieving the blasphemous penis, Nesta raged on and on about how furious she was and who had the audacity to send her a dick pic. Unfortunately, Feyre was the only family member present since Elain was studying abroad and their father was overseas, so Feyre listened for hours to her older sister's angry rant and barely had any sleep.

They were in a crowded hallway, it was lunch time. Most students were headed to the cafeteria, Nesta on the other hand barely ate in there. She and Amren runs off school property to eat at a cafe around the corner.

Nesta gave up struggling and asked again, "Then where are you taking me?"

"To the canteen. You're joining me and Rhysand's friends for lunch, I want to introduce you properly." Feyre said with a tiny smile.

Nesta groaned. She was certain this was Feyre's punishment for last night. 

Feyre led Nesta inside the noisy canteen and waited in line for their meal. "What about Amren? She'll be waiting for me." Hoping she could escape this stupid introduction.

"Already notified her, sister dear." 

She had no other exit plan and she was also next in line. Nesta stonily watched the lunchlady give her oily french fries and weirdly coloured steak, she tried her best not to recoil. She followed Feyre to the table where three men ate, well one of them was playing around with his food looking solemn.

"Cassian, Azriel, and Rhysand this is my older sister, Nesta." Feyre announced as they sat opposite them.

Azriel said a brief, "Hello."

Rhysand smiled at her and said "I've seen you around."

 _'I've seen you lot around, too. You're basically every girl's wildest fantasy here. Well, almost every girl's fantasy.'_  Nesta was sick of hearing girls everywhere daydream about these three.  _'They're not even that handsome for fuck's sake.'_

"Nesta!" Feyre stared at her with shock.

 _'Oops. Did I say that out loud?'_ Judging from the looks of their faces, yes she said it out loud.

Azriel's mouth formed a small 'o' that he suddenly snapped shut and was instantly interested in the lunch line at the counter. Rhysand raised his eyebrows and a ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. It was Cassian who spoke.

"Well, it's not like you're that beautiful as some say." He challenged Nesta with a stare.

Rhysand faced Cassian. "Who said Nesta was beautiful?"

Nesta gritted her teeth, looking at the two of them murderously. Feyre knew the boys were only teasing Nesta, well, Rhys was teasing Nesta. She's not sure about Cassian.

"No one, obviously." Cassian said.

Actually, a lot of people found Nesta beautiful, they just didn't have the guts to tell her. Feyre's older sister was known for being intimidating and cold. Cassian can now see the intimidating part and he liked it. He found it interesting how Nesta has such an attitude. For the beautiful part, he didn't see it. There was only one beautiful woman for him and that was Mor. He still hasn't seen Mor enter the canteen and he was waiting anxiously to face her.

"I don't find beauty as interesting as you narcissistic men do. You practically hog every surface that can reflect your oh-so-lovely faces." Nesta quipped, munching on a fry.

"That's a lie!" The three said in unison.

Nesta raised an eyebrow.

"That is so true." Feyre laughed.

Because it was. While Nesta was known for her attitude, the three were known for their vanity and also their talent in soccer.

"God, you're sister is savage." Rhys said to Feyre, his lips quirked.

"She always is." Feyre said, earning a glare from her sister.

The canteen doors opened and Mor walked in. Cassian got up from his seat and started heading towards her.  _'Please hear me out. Don't walk away, let me explain.'_

Mor caught sight of Cassian heading towards her and panicked.  _'Oh shit. What am I gonna do? Does he know I gave him a fake number? Did he figure it out? I'm so busted.'_

Cassian made eye contact with her and he saw her eyes widen.  _'Fuck, she's probably shocked. She probably hates me now. Who wouldn't when you send them a picture of your genitalia.'_

 _'He's getting near. I think he's mad at me. What on earth am I gonna say? Should I explain? Should I say 'I'm sorry for giving you a fake number. You see, i'm a lesbian and i'm not interested in any men.'_ Mor was frozen in spot, debating what to do.

 _'Please hear me out.'_ Cassian's heart was beating thunderously.

 _'Do I need to explain when I could simply avoid him until he gets over this. That sounds like a good idea, Mor.'_ And Mor suddenly ran away, out the canteen.

Cassian followed her, bumping into people and when he reached the hallway it was empty. No sign of Mor.  _'Fuck, she hates me so bad. WHY DID I HAVE TO SEND HER THAT STUPID PICTURE.'_

He slumped down the wall and frustratedly ran his fingers through his jet black hair. After a while he decided to send Mor a text.

 ** _'i'm sorry for sending you that. It was an accident. I'm really sorry.'_** The text said.

* * * * *

Nesta and the others watched Cassian chase Mor.

Rhysand frowned. "What's going on between those two? Did he tell you anything?" He faced Az who just finished eating his steak.

The individual shook his head. "I'm as curious as you."

Changing the topic, Rhysand reached out to hold Feyre's hand and said, "Do you have any plans later?"

Feyre batted her eyelashes. "Depends on what we'll be doing."

"I'll be doing you." Rhys purred.

Az wore a repulsed expression and chucked a fry at Rhys. "I'm outta here. Enjoy witnessing these two nymphos, Nesta."

Az walked away and headed to another table far, far away from them, Nesta semed inclined to follow but then her phone rang.

**beeep beeep beeeep**

She hurriedly fished it out and saw the unknown number from last night displayed on the screen. The message this time was actually a message and not an image. 

**_'i'm sorry for sending you that. It was an accident. I'm really sorry.'_ **

"Feyre, Wang Guy texted me." Interrupting the two from nearly making out in public.

Rhysand wore a funny expression. "Wang Guy? I'm sorry but did I hear that right, Feyre darling?"

"Yep. Nesta got a dick pic from an unknown number and named him Wang Guy. This is why she is extra bitchy today." She explained to her confused boyfriend, she faced Nesta. "What did he say?"

Nesta read the text out loud. 

"It looks like he really is apologetic." Feyre said, Rhysand nodding in agreement.

"Bullshit. He sent it with intent."

"How can you be so sure when we don't even know who Wang Guy is." Feyre argued.

"Fine." Nesta said, texting to said guy and sending it.

* * * * *

Slumped in the still empty corridor, Cassian hurriedly opened the message Mor sent him. 

**_who tf r u?_ **

Cassian groaned, eyebrows furrowed.

_'Mor really hates me. She's even denying my existence now.'_

He got the message Mor wanted to tell him. Mor wants him to fuck off her life, so he didn't reply anymore. 

Cassian stared at the text that ended his chances with Mor for awhile. 

* * * * *

Blank. There wasn't any text from Wang Guy. Nesta glowered at the screen. "He didn't even reply. What the hell."

"Chill, Nesta." Rhys said and regrets it after Nesta glares at him with eyes like daggers piercing his heart.

"Maybe that's what he only wanted to tell you, an apology. Just leave it alone, Nesta. The dude apologized and said it was an accident." Feyre reasoned.

There was still embers of rage from last night inside Nesta. "If it was an accident then how did he know my number?"

Her younger sister shrugged. "Maybe it was a wrong number."

Nesta pocketed her phone and rubbed her temples. "Whatever, I'll find out who this guy is."

"Cassian!" Rhys waved at the black haired man approaching. "What happened with you and Mor?"

He pursed his lips as he sat down. "Nothing."

Rhys didn't push further and let Cassian eat fries. Nesta's fries. Nesta slapped his hand away, it was warm.

"Eat your own fries, caveman." She grumbled.

Unfortunately, Cassian did the exact opposite and ate more of her fries with a smirk. Despite having a bad day with Mor, Cassian felt delighted pissing Nesta off. His mood gradually improved throughout the day. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can leave comments, please do. I'd love to know your thoughts, whether they're negative or positive. :)


	3. Out In The Field

"How did lunch go?" Amren asked in a mocking singsong tone, while pouring an unknown chemical to a cylinder.

They were having a group activity in the Chemistry lab. Nesta let Amren take the reigns on this one because her friend knows more than she does. 

Nesta rested her chin on her palm and watched the other girl perform the task. "Quite horrendous. Rhysand openly offered Feyre sex, Az was so quiet I thought he's gonna blend with the shadows, Cassian..." 

 _'_ _What a caveman.'_ Reminiscing the lunch earlier.

"Aren't you gonna continue that sentence?" Looking at the instructions their teacher handed out, Amren met Nesta's eyes.

She only huffed in response. "Cassian is a Neanderthal, Amren."

The tiny woman cracked up. "Are you sure you're not exaggerating?"

"I'm not. He directly ate from my stack of fries and he mocked me." She complained.

Amren grabbed another cylinder containing red liquid. "I heard he's a charmer."

"Enough about Cassian. How'd _your_ lunch go?" 

Slowly pouring the red liquid to the earlier cylinder with chemical, Amren replied "S'okay."

_**BOOOM!** _

Mist was everywhere and they both coughed. In front of them as soon as the mist dissipated, the cylinder was shattered and the liquid turned to smoke. The teacher scolded the two of them in front of everyone. Amren looked sheepish the entire time.

* * * * *

 After the whole Chemistry explosion, it was time for Physical Education which Nesta completely loathes. She sluggishly walked towards the green field where the soccer team was currently doing jogging. 

"Let's cut, Amren." She elbowed her friend.

Amren gripped her elbow tightly. "No. After the trouble we caused in Chem earlier, we can't afford to do more. For now."

"What do you mean 'we'. You caused it." 

"Because you assumed I knew everything." Amren seethed, letting go of her elbow which would soon have bruises.

 _'Why is everyone stronger than me?'_ Nesta wondered, rubbing her elbow.

"Agghh! Why do we have to have P.E. every dismissal time. Everybody's either going home or having fun at the Rainbow." She yelled in annoyance.

The Rainbow is an area where many shops of different kind resided in. From cinemas to spas, from restaurants to bookstores, and every other establishment. It's basically a mall without a building holding all stores in one roof.

"Jesus, it's just 40 minutes of sports." And with that Amren trudged to the other side of the field where their fellow classmates waited.

  _'Let the horror begin.'_ Nesta prepared herself for the torture of physical activities.

* * * * *

Heaving, panting, and sweating is what Nesta is after ten minutes of soccer. She didn't get why they needed to learn soccer in front of the soccer team, it was humiliating to fail with them watching. They probably looked like little kids playing. 

"This.Is.Stupid." Nesta said in between breaths.

Amren, however, was enjoying the game. Kicking the ball towards her, she yelled "Nesta heads up!"

She hurriedly ran towards the ball but then collided with a body. Nesta lost balance and landed with a twist in her ankle. She felt pain and she tried to rotate her foot but winced.

 _Great, I got a sprained ankle. Fantastic._ Nesta clenched her jaw as she beheld the sight of the body who she earlier clashed with. Ianthe's. Nesta doubts the collision was unintentional now that Ianthe was involved.

"Oops." Was all Ianthe said and walked away.

Amren rushed to Nesta's side along with other classmates. "Are you okay?"

"I sprained my ankle thanks to someone." A glare in Ianthe's direction.

"We need to get you to the nurse, you got what you wanted; an excuse from sports." Amren was ready to lift her up before Ianthe interrupted.

"Oh no need to carry her, Amren! I brought someone who can help." She said, clinging so close to someone who wore a tight white shirt, showing the ripped muscles underneath. Cassian.

Nesta's eyes widened and she tried to scramble up. "Uhhhh, n-no need for that." A nervous chuckle. "I-i'm fine, really."

Amren seemed intrigued with her friend struggling to seem alright in front of Cassian who wore a bemused expression.

 _'This is so embarrasing. Why did he have to appear while i'm wounded.'_ Nesta hissed to herself, failing to manage getting up with her sprain.

"Now, now Nesta no need to worry. I'm here." She didn't like the tone of his voice at all. "Seems like you need my help. Ianthe said you've got a sprained ankle."

Nesta remained silent. 

"Since you can't walk, I'll have to carry you to the nurse." Cassian seemed to be enjoying Nesta's vulnerability and the fact that he's playing savior.

 _'Jackass.'_ But said to Cassian, "Fine." defeatedly.

And then she felt Cassian swoop her into his arms like a bride. His arms were corded with muscles and his chest felt warm against her. Nesta shoved these observations to the back of her mind. She swore she caught a glimpse of a smile in his lips as he lifted her. Amren stood there biting her lips to keep from smiling but Nesta knew what thoughts the little one had, she gave Amren the finger.

The girls in her class looked like they were going to explode with jealousy. They stared after her in Cassian's powerful hold as they walked across the field and to the tunnel leading to school. 

"Don't you have soccer practice?" Nesta gazed up at him. 

"I'm the co-captain, I can do whatever I want. And what I want is saving damsels in distress." Cocky, that's what he sounded.

"I am no damsel in distress." Though her current situation begs to differ.

Cassian stopped in his tracks, they were in the tunnel and it was dim. "Okay then, do you want me to put you down?"

Nesta regreted saying her earlier comment and kept quiet, stewing. 

Cassian continued walking. "Thought so."

The tunnel echoed his voice when he said, "You suck playing soccer."

This time Nesta didn't bother denying. "It's stupid."

The man chuckled. He had never carried anyone before, he wished Mor was the woman in his arms and not this feral Archeron. Cassian wonders about Mor. Would she be able to forgive him? She will but when. 

They stayed silent until they arrived at the clinic. Cassian dumped her unceremoniously at the patient's bed. Nesta glared at him. The nurse took one look at her ankle and gave her instructions how to recover.

"You need to rest your ankle and make sure you don't walk on it. Also, you need ice to keep it from swelling and elevate it once in a while." The nurse said.

"Thank you." Nesta weakly said, sitting in the bed.

She tried to stand from but nearly fell. Cassian held her waist and Mor hit his chest. "Let go." she protested.

"You can't walk alone. I'll carry you, it's too dangerous for you." He said seriously.

"Do you like me?" Nesta outright asked.

And then Cassian burst in to laughter, all seriousness gone. "Hell no. You're Feyre's sister and she's a close friend of mine, okay? It's not like I have a crush on you or something." 

Nesta blushed at her assumption. Even the nurse let out a chuckle and excused herself out of the room. 

"Ugh, just shut up and carry me to Feyre. Wherever she is." She demanded, hitting Cassian's chest again. Damn, they were hard.

"We may have a problem. Feyre's with Rhys. Fucking." 

_'This day couldn't get any worse.'_

* * * * *

Cassian had just dumped Nesta to Feyre and Rhys after waiting for the couple for 30 minutes. God, they take so long fucking. Nesta showed her gratitude to Cassian with an icy stare. 

Now he was in the field practicing with his team mates. He exhausted himself and afterwards hit the showers. He let the water hit his back and Cassian closed his eyes. He was so tired. Then Az called him out. " Cass, you better not be dozing off again."

He chuckled. "You totally read my mind." 

Finishing their shower, the three went home via Rhysand's car. The bastard just passed the driving examination. Cassian wonders how many times have Feyre and Rhys had sex in his sleek black car already. He doesn't wanna know.

"I'm home." Cassian announced.

His mother appeared from the kitchen and Cassian gave her a peck on the cheek. "I was just on my way to work. How was your day?"

"Interesting." Blue gray eyes glaring at him flashed in his mind. 

"Okay, I'm off to work now."

"Take care." He showed his mother out and afterwards trudging to his room.

As he lay in his bed, he can't help but think of Mor. And then a thought ran through him.

_'Did she show anyone my dick? I hope not. That doesn't sound like Mor. Unless she showed it to her girl friends.'_

Grabbing for his phone, Cassian composed a text quickly for Mor.

* * * * *

 _ **beeep beeeep beeeep**_  

Nesta rolled over her bed, being sprained means having Feyre pamper her every now and then so she has become slothful in the past hours. She's either lying on her bed or sitting on it.

She grabbed her phone and saw unknown number again. Before opening the message, Nesta added him to her contacts under the name 'Wang Guy' and then clicked on the message.

_**'uh hi. Just worried if u showed anyone my pic.'** _

She scoffed and then looked at the picture once again for a while. After which felt like five minutes, Nesta texted him.

* * * * *

Cassian was dumbfounded with the reply. Speechless.

_**'Your dick doesn't even occupy half the screen. How the fuck can I show anyone this miserable thing???'** _

_'I can't believe Mor said this. I guess I don't really know her well enough. Atleast only she saw it.'_

And in complete curiosity Cassian pulled down his pants and looked at his member. 

 _'Is it really that small?'_  


	4. Thank The Cauldron It's Friday

Nesta was confused, utterly confused why most of the women she encountered gave her spiteful looks and sneers. Why was she hated? Are they repulsed by the crutches she now had to carry to be able to walk? If so, then they have serious mental issues.

It had been like that from the moment she entered school. Only in Literature did Nesta have enough of it. Whatever  _it_ was. The teacher left to get her projector and Nesta took this chance to confront any woman who met her stare what the hell was going on. She roamed her eyes around the class and was met by Ianthe's intense gaze.

"Why on earth is everyone giving me the stink eye. What is your problem? Tell me, Ianthe, why are you looking at me like I ruined your eyebrows." She exploded and the whole room went completely quiet.

Unmoved by her outburst, Ianthe walked up to her. "You got Cassian to carry you not just once but _twice_."

"For real? That's the reason? I cannot believe that this is so low. What's the big deal with Cassian? He only plays soccer for crying out loud." She waved her hands in frustration.

Gasps went around the room. Ianthe shocked from what she said. "What do you mean 'what's the big deal with Cassian?'. Cassian is Cassian." The way Ianthe said it made Nesta want to vomit, she said it with such hunger.  _Yikes._

"Wait a minute, Ianthe. Weren't you the one who got Cassian to help me yesterday? If you didn't fetch him then all of this petty hate wouldn't have happened. " Nesta pointed out. 

Ianthe froze. 

"Cat got your tongue?" Nesta wore an expression of self-satisfied.

"Yeah, Nesta's right. You got Cassian." A girl spoke up.

"I was there, Ianthe did get him." Another one said.

And many more followed attacking Ianthe until she ran out of the room.

* * * * *

The bathroom was empty when Az and Rhys walked in. Both men urinated and while doing so, they chatted.

"You know, I forgot something I was supposed to tell you." Rhys struggled to remember and as he gazed down his cock, he yelled startling Azriel who nearly swayed and pissed on the floor. "I GOT IT!"

"Jesus fuck, Rhys." Az cursed.

"I remembered now. Some guy sent Nesta a picture of his dick. The guy apologized afterwards saying it was an accident."

Azriel let out a chuckle. "So she doesn't know who that guy is?"

Rhy shook his head, zipping his jeans and heading to the sink. "Nope. If she did then she would have ripped him apart."

Azriel followed Rhysand, washing his hands. "Have you sent a dick pic before?"

"Only to Feyre." He admitted, staring at himself in the mirror.

"What do you get out of it?" Azriel began searching his face for any signs of pimple.

"Just some fun, you know." Getting lost in the expanse of his beautiful complexion.

The two men stood there, gazing at their faces and after a while Rhysand said "God, Nesta was right. We are narcissistic."

"Totally."  Az said with a foolish grin.

* * * * *

Cassian had just met up with Helion to smoke at the abandoned music room. He was walking to where Rhys and Az were, in the restroom. It was tradition to the three of them to simply stare at their otherworldiness just like Nesta had said.

As he was walking, Mor appeared around the corner and he stopped in his tracks, so did she. 

 _'Here he is again. Is the universe tormenting me?'_ Mor thought and then once again flee.

After she ran off, Cassian thought of the message last night.  _'Will it be like this everytime we see each other? She really despises me.This is all because of that stupid dick pic.'_

And just like that his mood deflated.

* * * * *

Amren watched the Archeron sisters drive away, in dismissal she and Nesta usually do something crazy, sometimes they chill. But with Nesta's crutches rendering her to be useless, she had to go home and heal. 

She stood there in the school parking lot, students off to somewhere, probably the Rainbow. Here she is, clueless where to go on a Friday evening. 

"Hey you." Somebody called to her.

She whipped her head, her short hair bouncing. There in her far left was Rhysand and the other two who always flanked him, they were getting in a black car. "Me?"

"Yeah, who else. You're Nesta's friend, right?" He asked.

"I'm Amren." She pointed out.

"Wanna join us, Amren? I heard you're the real deal with bars. It's my treat." 

At first she was debating whether to join these unfamiliar yet familiar men but when Rhysand said the last sentence, Amren was fully on board. "You can count me in."

Rhys grinned.

* * * * *

When Rhysand said Amren was the real deal, he did not know what he was getting into. The three men usually went to a bar called Under The Mountain but with Amren in tow, they went to _five_ different bars all in different areas. They were exhausted yet enjoying Amren's company.

They were in the fifth bar and the three of them were near the edge of getting completely drunk, except for Cassian who only  _sipped_ from the previous bars. Amren ordered a round of night hued liquid in tall glasses, if you gaze closely you could see something white shimmering; like stars.

"Whut ish thish?" Rhysand slurred in his seat. His black hair tousled.

Amren distributed the drink to each of them, occasionally swaying. "It's called Velaris and it's fucking luscious. Once you drink it, you'll know what i'm talking about."

"We drink in 1, 2, 3!" Amren counted, Rhys and Az following her. They downed Velaris in one go.

It tasted like the galaxy, the creations of the heavens in a black pit for Rhysand. For Azriel it was the cosmos, the never ending darkness. 

"Amreeen, diz iz da shittt." Az pointed the empty tall glass with a twirling index finger.

The tiny woman looked pleased. "I told ya."

Rhysand pouted. "It's nooot fair that Amreeen can shtill shpeak pruhperly." 

"I got high tolerance for alcohol. Call me blessed or cursed. Ha!" She cackled.

They ordered another round of Velaris and conversed in their drunken revelry. Cassian sat in a corner, silent. He was browsing Facebook, well, stalking. He was stalking Mor and he clicked on her profile picture. Mor was smiling at the camera with her hands on her hips, her golden hair flowing past her shoulders. She was the sun, she burned and stood out.

 _'I should stop this pursuit. I should accept the fact that I have no chance with Mor, not after_ that _picture.'_

The scene earlier in the corridor kept replaying in his mind. He slowly started to accept that whatever chance he had with Mor was completely gone and he should move on. It crushed him. 

 _'I should let her go. I will let her go.'_ Cassian grabbed a tall glass of Velaris and drank. Drowning his sorrows, drowning Mor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can, please leave a comment. I'd love to know your thoughts whether they're negative or positive. :)


	5. Let's Split In Two

Nesta can now freely walk without crutches. She had healed during the weekend after countless hours of slothing away. It sounds amazing but for Nesta it was torture. She was restless for Monday to arrive and finally it has.

She and Amren walked to the back part of the bleachers in the field and found the fence that led outside, the fence had a large opening but was concealed by the vines. They discovered this during Sophomore year when they were smoking and Amren was leaning against the vines when she suddenly fell backwards and landed on the narrow alleyway outside. That was the moment their lives changed, they no longer had to eat the disgusting food at the cafeteria and had freedom in their hands.

They parted the vines and squeezed through the opening, stepping into the empty alleyway. The air of freedom every lunch time when they did this always rejuvinated Nesta. 

"I love being able to walk again." Nesta said, heading out the alleyway and crossing the street to turn at the corner where their cafe resided. 

"I can tell, judging by your texts complaining how Feyre serves so slowly and you can't go to the bathroom without her help or your 'idiotic' crutches." Amren quoted her previous texts.

"You are correct." She opened the door to the cafe and was greeted by the aroma of coffee beans and herbs but that wasn't the only thing that greeted her.

"Nesta! Amren!" Rhys called out, waving at them. And he was not alone, Az, Cassian, and Feyre were sitting with him.

Nesta swiveled to Amren in shock. "How did they get out of school?"

"I've kinda been hanging out with them last Friday and mentioned the fence gap." Her friend said shyly.

Nesta's jaw dropped. "I can't believe you sold our safe haven.'

"Relax, they're actually pretty awesome. So, get your big girl pants on and accept that they're gonna be eating with us." Amren strode past her and greeted them.

Cassian closely watched Nesta's reaction as she beheld them and grinned. "Nesta, don't just stand there. Come eat with the fam."

She gritted her teeth and marched up to them. "Pleasure seeing you here." Her tone said otherwise.

They have saved them some seats and Amren took one beside Azriel who was sitting next to Cassian.While Feyre and Rhysand sat across them, Feyre patting on the empty seat beside her which was meant for her older sister. Great, it was facing Cassian.

Nesta, without any other option, sat. "Why haven't you ordered anything?"

"We were waiting for you. Amren was such a darling last Friday, told us about the fence gap and the delightful cafe." Rhys said in adoration while Amren only glanced at Nesta, sheepish.

"Alright, I have arrived therefore we shall order. Follow me, younglings, I'll tell you which one is best to order." Amren spoke like a matron and led Az, Feyre, and Rhys to the counter. Cassian stayed, smiling at Nesta.

The older Archeron sister was annoyed. "Don't just sit there, follow them."

"I'd rather follow you. You're always tense whenever greeted by my presence, it amuses me." 

"I am not a circus monkey for you to be amused at." Nesta spat, brows furrowed.

Cassian leaned in closer to her, his eyes were hazel, Nesta observed. "Then why do you look like one right now? Ahu! Ahu!" He copied her facial expression and made monkey noises, the neighboring tables looked at them.

Her nostrils flared in anger.

"You're really making it worse for yourself." He teased, flaring his own nostrils jokingly.

_'Is this guy for real?'_

Nesta decided to ignore him and looked around, anywhere except at the ape in front of her.

At the counter, Amren had ordered for the three of them and was waiting for the food. Meanwhile, Feyre laughed at Cassian irritating her sister.

"What's so funny?" Rhys asked, sliding an arm around her waist.

Azriel spoke, to Feyre's surprise. "Our friend seems to have a death wish." His eyes pointed towards Cassian and Nesta, Rhys followed his line of sight.

"What on earth is he doing?" Rhys wondered, eyes crinkling in amusement.

"Trying to get killed, that's what." Amren said. "Our orders have arrived, help me with trays."

Obediently, the three did what was asked and returned to table. The moment they landed their trays, Nesta shot up from her seat and made a beeline for the counter, Cassian abruptly followed her.

"Is it just me or are the two boiling with intensity." Az quietly spoke.

"I know right! What is up with those two?" Feyre perked up.

Waiting in line, Cassian poked Nesta's back. He really enjoyed pissing her, soon it'll become his favorite pastime. He needed fun so bad these days, he's really trying hard to move on from Mor. 

"What!" Nesta spun around.

"Can you help me pick out which one to order?" It was a genuine request.

She huffed. "Fine. They specialize in carbonara and pastries, all of their pastries are good. As a cafe, they make good latte's and hot choco. With rice meals, they cook amazing scrambled eggs and bacon. Just pick one of those." 

"Okie." He replied.

Nesta ordered, payed and waited for her food to arrive. It was Cassian's turn to order and he politely requested for carbonara and iced tea. While he was paying, Nesta glanced at his wallet and saw a family picture. Something was wrong in the picture but she kept silent. It was none of her business.

They got their food and returned to the table to feast. The boys and Feyre were praising Amren for picking out delicious meals when the two arrived. 

"Cassian, you got the same one as mine." Feyre saw his plate, "It's delicious."

"Really? Cool, then." His hazel eyes went to Nesta for a moment, thankful.

There was silence as the group ate, the clinking of cutlery against the plates and the chewing were the only sounds audible until Amren spoke. "I heard we are to have our fieldtrip next week. Is it true?"

Az bobbed his head. "Yep, did you know it will be an overnight?"

Nesta stopped eating. "An overnight? Since when did our school have overnight trips?"

In all her life they never had any overnight school trips. Truth be told, Nesta was excited, not that she'd admit to anyone. 

"Since now. It'll be camping and we'll have to sleep in tents." Rhys faced his girlfriend. "I'm still disappointed you can't come. It would have been our first time in a tent."

"Ew, too much information." Cassian wailed.

"Ooh, have you heard Tamlin applied for an anger management class?" The tiny woman uttered.

Feyre looked astounded. "Finally, he got the message."

A round of laughter went at their table but was outlived when Azriel spotted four school authorities entering the cafe. 

"Everyone, duck! Amarantha and her cronies are here." Az whispered, sliding out of his seat to hide under the table.

Everyone shuddered at the name of their horrible principal. Amarantha was a bitch, the Dolores Umbridge of their school but instead of wearing pink, she wore red like the Devil. One by one, the group slid to the floor and hid under the table. They were dead silent.

"That big table looks empty." Amarantha said, her heels clacking and heading their way.

The group shared a look that said 'Uh oh'. "What are we gonna do?" Rhys asked.

Then Amren sprinted from under the table and yelled "Run!" 

Amarantha was shocked when a familiar figure emerged from the table and then followed by several other. She realized it was her students. "STOP RIGHT THERE!" 

They ran fast and she followed them. 

Sensing Amarantha and her cronies behind them with her heels clacking, the group ran faster. Feyre and Rhys holding each other's hand, Amren and Azriel led the front while Nesta and Cassian were at the back. Amarantha was damn quick so Cassian had an idea.

"Let's split in two!" He shouted as they reached an intersection. He grabbed the hand of who was closest to him, Nesta, and ran to the right. Rhysand and the others headed left.

Unfortunately for them, the principal did the same with her companions. Two headed for Nesta and Cassian while Amarantha and another one went for the others. Cassian sped up his pace dragging Nesta along. Nesta complained at Cassian's speed and suddenly he halted, only for him to carry her over his shoulders. 

"Hold on tight." Cassian grunted and then ran. God, he was strong.

Nesta couldn't believe the position she was in. This was crazy. She could spot the two chasing them. "Run faster."

"How about you lose more weight, huh?" Seconds after saying that, he was smacked hard by Nesta in his shoulder.

The neighborhood they were in had many alleyways that crossed one another, Cassian used this to their advantage. He made a sharp right turn and then made a left one and ran fast until they were out in another street and Cassian spotted a store and ran inside it. They heard the men moments later outside searching for them and then ran to another direction.

Cassian let Nesta down, closed his eye and let out a sharp breath. He was nearly exhausted. He wondered how the people in movies did chasing scenes especially on rooftops. Nesta abruptly squealed and he opened his eyes. 

Nesta was staring at the interior of the shop, Cassian followed suit. There was an excessive display of whips and handcuffs on the left wall while on the right was even more explicit, there in the shelves were dildos ranging from different sizes and materials. There was even a double sided one. 

"We're in a fucking adult store!" Nesta kicked him. "What on earth are you trying to tell me?!"

"What do you mean?" He didn't know what she was talking about.

"Why did you bring us here? Do you like me, Cassian? Is that what you're trying to tell me? You wanna fuck?" Nesta's cheeks were flushed.

Cassian raised his hands in defense. "Woah, woah, woah. What is with you and your assumptions that I like you? I don't, okay? I was busy trying to find a way to get the guy off our backs and this was the first store I saw, so I went in it."

In her mind, Nesta slapped herself for thinking such things. What is it with her and always assuming that Cassian likes her. She honestly doesn't know. "Okay. Just making sure."

"Come to think of it, do _you_ like me?" He smirked at her. "Cause you always keep on asking if I do like you. It looks like you want me to like you."

"No! Get over yourself." Nesta spat, facing the other way and regreted doing so since she now faced the dildos.

Cassian grinned.  _'She's so hot-headed.'_

"Are you two gonna continue yelling or are you gonna buy these limited edition vibrators?" The tattooed old man in the counter, who they haven't seen until now, waved a neon yellow vibrator.

 _'What a crazy day!'_ Nesta thought.

 


	6. Cheers To Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group celebrates escaping Amarantha by getting drunk. Drunk Cassian surprises Tipsy Nesta. Tipsy Nesta surprises Drunk Cassian.

"...and Nesta asked if I brought her there intentionally because I had these feelings for her. Haha!" Cassian roared, his cheeks flush due to the five pints of Velaris he has consumed and the humor of the event hours ago.

The group was in the fifth bar Amren had brought them to previously. Again. And they were drunk. Again. Except Nesta who was only tipsy. Feyre was chatty when drunk, Azriel was more outgoing, Rhysand was his usual state, and Amren, you couldn't tell if she's drunk or sober. Alcohol had different effects on each of them that the older Archeron sister discovered. 

Everyone laughed boisterously with Cassian and saying things like, "That's a classic, Nesta!", or "Silly, silly girl."

Nesta rolled her eyes. "Ugh, give me a break. It was traumatizing seeing a huge amount of  _those._ They had all different sizes, colors, and materials!"

"Are you telling meee that youuu haven't seen things like thoooose before?" Rhysand looked at her with mild shock. 

Cassian didn't know why but he suddenly wanted to know Nesta's answer as he leaned closer.

"Of course, I have! I was just taken by surprise earlier." She was no virgin and she remembered the dick pic.

"Oooh, did Nesta already give someone a blow job or moreeee?" Rhys asked, wanting her to tell something juicy.

The table conversation got intimate and everyone went quiet as they all in their drunken state, expectantly stared at Nesta. Amren on the other hand knew everything about her, she only smiled and looked away when Nesta's eyes asked her for help in escaping this invasive question.

Nesta inhaled deeply. "Yes." 

This time it was Cassian who asked. "Yes to what?" He didn't know why his heart began beating faster, anticipating her answer, maybe it was the alcohol.

"Yes to both." 

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh." They all said in unison.

"Who did you do it with?" Rhys questionned again. For some reason it was strange to think Nesta had let someone love her. Is Nesta capable of loving someone other than Elain?

Nesta stood abruptly from her seat. "That's enough questions for tonight." And left. 

Feyre warily watched her sister stand up and walk away. She knew Nesta didn't like being questionned, didn't like the idea that they know personal things about her. Feyre was about to follow her, disregarding the fact that she can't reach the exit where Nesta left, without tripping over her drunken ass. Instead, she let it go and stared as Cassian tipsily managed to pursue Nesta.

* * * * *

The entire street was empty, save for the few vehicles passing by. Everyone was inside and here she was, standing directly below a streetlight, its yellow gleam bathing her. Nesta turned around to see the blue glowing sign atop the bar's entrance. ' ** _The Night Court_** ' It said.

She faced the silent street again and hugged herself. She had no idea why she told them that. What was wrong with her? She wasn't even as drunk as they were. Wondering about the things in her life, Nesta didn't sense Cassian silently walking up to her. 

Suddenly, she felt fingers reaching her sides and her protective instinct kicked in. She spun around and punched the person's face, pain lancing through her knuckles. Only when he groaned did Nesta recognize Cassian. Blinking at him, cradling his cheek, she stayed still.

"AGH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" The pain in his cheek was throbbing. 

"What's wrong with  _you_? Touching me like some creep." She defended, still looking at the pained man in front of her. She may be tipsy but she's still in her right senses.

Cassian straightened up as much as his current condition can let him, still cradling his cheek which had a red mark on it which made Nesta feel guilty. "I was going to tickle you!" He was swaying side to side.

"Tickle me? What are you six?" This was absurd. But then again, it was Cassian, drunk.

This woman was strong. He was sure he'll have a bruise in the morning, he groaned. "When did you learn those reflexes?"

"When I was fourteen."  _Some guy tried to sexually assault me._ She silently added. She pushed the memories in the back of her mind. Those were dark times for her. "My mom just passed away and it wasn't the best of times for us." Again, she didn't know why these things slipped from her mouth. This was unlike her. And she can see the surprise showing in Cassian's face. The face that would have a purple bruise in the morning and oh, how the women will faun, coddle, and smother him.

Something about what Nesta said hit home in his heart and the dark times in his childhood flashed in his mind. "Mom." He had never spoken the word for years, nearly a decade. Then tears welled in his eyes, ignoring the pain in his cheek, he stumbled in to the streetlight where Nesta stood. He leaned against it. Forgetting Nesta beside him, he choked on his tears. Choked on the memories that haunted him. "Shh-she left me. How c-could you do this to m-me?" He asked directly at no one.

The deserted street was filled with Cassian's agony and Nesta felt him, emotionally. "What happened?" She remembered the family picture in his wallet earlier, the one thing that was odd about it. The two people smiling by Cassian's side were people of color. 

The streetlight cast a yellow halo over him, his tears shining as they ran down his golden skin. He took a deep breath. "It was New Year when she left me. I didn't have a father and I was so alone..." Nesta let him sob before continuing. "She said she'd come back for me but sh-she never did."

She bit her lip as she neared him, their chests touching. "Why did she leave?"

Cassian gazed into her stormy eyes, they held some emotion he couldn't name. Was it pity? "She cared for herself more than her son, she was always telling me how much she regretted giving birth to me. I remember her leaving in the middle of the night to go clubbing and partying with her friends. I don't know why I believed her when she said she'd come back for me." The world went dark for him, except Nesta's unrelenting gaze.

Inside, Nesta despised his mother. How can she leave him alone for  _parties_. He was broken deep down, she never expected this from him. She thought he was just a jolly bastard with no struggles in life. Nesta cursed herself for thinking such a person could exist. She could feel his hot breath, the heat emanating from his body. Tears slowly fell in the concrete as Cassian endured pain, deeper than the one in his cheek. 

Nesta's enveloped him into an embrace and she rest her head in his shoulder. Cassian went rigid, surprised. Nesta's breath tickled his ear as she quietly said, "Because you needed hope. That's why you believed her."

Cassian could now name the emotion in Nesta's eyes as he stared at them earlier. It was understanding. Nesta understood him. He eased and held her in his arms, she felt so small in his hold. They stood there bathing in the streetlights' gleam, embracing one another. Understanding one another through this drunken night that Cassian would soon forget in the morning or so Nesta hoped. But as Cassian woke the morning after, he remembered it all. Every tear that fell and each second Nesta held him.

 

 


	7. Anywhere I Go There You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian and Nesta are trying hard to ignore each other due to...feelings? Could it be?

_'What was I thinking?'_ Was Nesta Archeron's first sober thought. She slapped her forehead and nestled deeper into the warmth of her blanket. 

She felt stupid embracing him, but in the very back of her mind she felt for him. Agh! She was very confused. Now what would Cassian think of her? Soft hearted? Oh, she hated the word. The only thing that comforted her was the fact that Cassian would never remember anything about it. Nesta thanked the Velaris they all downed for ever existing and aiding her in this internal nuance.

The sun was slowly starting to rise, and Nesta squinted as the first rays washed over her face. It meant the start of the day. A day where, hopefully, she wouldn't encounter Cassian and be reminded of the things she admitted last night about her sexual life and her mother's departure, though Cassian's were far more painful. In the very corner of her mind, Nesta didn't regret comforting him. God dammit! She really is confused. 

All morning, Nesta tried to forget last night, hoping the others would, too. They were drunk after all. She went ahead of Feyre to school since her younger sister had a massive hungover.

_"What happened last night? Did Rhysand get home safe?" Feyre asked groggily._

Nesta smiled as she remembered waking up her sister. Her hope soared for the others to forget last night like Feyre did. The only problem was Cassian. As long as she didn't see him, she wouldn't remember last night and would soon forget about it. Somewhat jolly, Nesta strode up the stairs of her school and shook off her worries away.

* * * * *

Damn it! Barely five minutes in school and it has already happened. His hard body collided with hers as he turned around from his locker in the hallway. An apology emmited from him and took in the sight of Nesta. Surprise registered on his face and so did hers. Those hazel eyes where tears poured down endlessly last night were now staring at her. He had a slight discoloration in his cheek due to Nesta's punch. Nesta tensed as the memory hit her.

"Nesta." Cassian let out.

Something about the way he said her name made her breathing heavy. Did he remember last night? If Feyre didn't then Cassian also won't, right?

"Watch where you're going next time." It sounded weak even to her own ears.

Striding away as fast as possible, Nesta weaved her way through the crowd of teenagers and rounded a corner. She leaned against the wall and let out a breath she had been holding. 

_'What is this feeling?'_  

* * * * *

The teacher's words were all a distant buzzing in Cassian's ears. As usual he sat in the very back of the class with Rhys in his right. They shared Geography together among three other classes. The classroom was dim, the only illumination inside was the powerpoint being projected. There were few who slept, including Rhysand, and Cassian would have joined them if his mind wasn't so restless about one person; Nesta.

Now he was sure she is a person after last night. Cassian didn't expect Nesta to show sympathy for him, he thought she would only make some rude remark then walk away. They both shared something personal, they were both left behind by their mothers. He just couldn't let last night go. The way her silky lips pursed under the streetlight and the curve of her back under his touch as they embraced. SHE WAS SO DISTRACTING. 

He couldn't focus on the lesson in hand, he let out a groan of dismay. Beside him, Rhysand opened an eye. "Why...aren't you hungover?" His voice gruff. 

"I was but Mom made me eggs and coffee. It helped me get over it real quickly." 

"Lucky you. Ack. Feels like my head is splitting." Rhysand clutched his head, face lying sideways on his desk. 

Cassian ruffled his friend's hair. "Poor baby Rhys. That's what you get for drinking with Amren." 

Rhys managed to glower at his mocking tone. "Just shut the fuck up." 

The other guy just stuck his tongue out. Momentarily forgetting  _her,_ the words of his teacher weren't buzzing anymore and he could now hear them clearly. He could now listen without distraction. For now.

* * * * *

Lunch time wasn't a stroll in the park for the two as they beheld the sight of each other. Once again, the three men ate in the cafe which they usually attended to. Nesta grimaced and followed Amren to their table. "What a lovely surprise. Glad to see everyone has recovered from our hangover." Indeed, the three men were their usual selves anymore. Nesta saw Azriel earlier in History napping in the front row, the teacher paid him no heed as if he blended in the walls. He tends to have that effect. She only caught a glimpse of Rhysand doing the same in the school clinic. 

"We might make this place our usual lunch place." Rhysand smiled. Nesta didn't like the idea one bit as she sank down in her seat, which was again, in front of Cassian. She tried to ignore the pair of hazel eyes burning her skin.

"I don't think that's necessary." Nesta snapped. 

Silence met her and she got up to order, Amren trailing after her. "What's up with you? I thought you were okay with them." Amren asked, grabbing her by the wrist. She shook her hold off but her friend was strong.

"I am but..." ' _Cassian just had to exist.'_ She silently added.

Amren waited for her to finish but Nesta just said "Let me go." 

And the small woman did. "Whatever is bothering you about them, you know you can tell me. I mean, I am your best friend." 

"I know." She said sincerely. But even Nesta couldn't tell it to herself whatever was bothering her about Cassian. "Let's just order. I'm starving." 

Amren complied and they fell in line for the counter.

* * * * *

"Did we do something wrong? I'm pretty sure Nesta was all right with us till last night." Rhy was confused.

"I only remember segments of last night. That Velaris is pretty strong." Az said, munching on his croissant.

Cassian furrowed his brows.  _Was he the reason why Nesta's being cold to them? Why?_

"Absolutely. Feyre even had to skip school today to recover." Rhys grinned. 

Az finished his meal. "Hey, the fieldtrip is this Thursday already. You guys psyched?"

"No." Rhys and Cassian said in unison.

"That's the spirit." Azriel joked.

Seconds later, the two women arrived with food in their hands. Amren began pigging out the moment she sat down while Nesta ate casually, avoiding looking at him. Cassian stared at her and he knows she knows. The way her lips pursed after she swallowed, her eyes landing on everyone except him. The contrast to last night, her gaze held on to him, only to him. He couldn't stop it, staring at her. It was as if his eyes were only drawn to her while hers were the opposite.

"Stop staring at me." Nesta whispered, more like hissed. She looked towards Azriel who was speaking with Amren.

Cassian raised his brows, surprised she acknowledged him. "Then stop trying to avoid looking at me."

Nesta's lips was a thin line. "No."

"Then I'll keep on staring at you." He flashed his teeth at her, though she couldn't see fully he bet her peripheral vision was excellent.

"Why? Do you like looking at me?" There was something in her voice that made Cassian sit straight. She always asked these kinds of questions but this time there was something serious about it.

He thought of it very carefully. Could it be? Did he like Nesta? "Why do you insist on me liking you?" Was all he replied.

Nesta somehow felt dissatisfied. Did she want Cassian to like her?  

The two sat in silence. Wondering where their hearts lie. Figuring what they feel. 

_'Could it be?'_ They thought in unison. They never acknowledged each other again. 


	8. Bus Rides with Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The awaited field trip has arrived and the two get engaged in some emotional and physical struggle.

Nesta and Cassian avoided one another as much as possible, to keep their sanity intact. It was a tough job to do, they've acted strangely in front of their friends and caused suspicion. There was a time when Cassian sought the peacefulness of the comfort room, thinking that Nesta would never step foot in the threshold. While Nesta scurried away from Amren during lunch time, starving in an empty stairway -- unable to explain to the small woman her fear of eating with them at lunch. The two went slightly insane in the process but thankfully, the field trip provided them some time away from each other.

"So, you're saying that Rhys and the others are in a different bus?" Nesta tried to contain her glee. 

Amren nodded. "Yep. We're in bus 1, they're in bus 2. Kinda sad, they're a wild bunch." 

Nesta seemed inclined to disagree but kept her mouth shut. She was relieved, she had atleast two days and a night to relax about Cassian. 

 _'This fieldtrip is gonna be awesome.'_ She grinned and linked arms with Amren, heading to their next class.

* * * * *

Senior year students were scattered in the parking lot where two giant yellow buses were stationed. Cassian rolled his eyes at Rhy and Feyre, hugging each other tightly as if Rhysand was getting shipped to war.  _'They're driving me crazy.'_ he thought. Azriel beside him smelled like smoke and he scrunched his face.

"What?" Azriel demanded.

"You smell. Can't you at least change your shirt or dunk an entire container of cologne on yourself?" 

"You didn't mind me before, why complain now?" What Az said was true but now Cassian was in a very sour mood. Why? He didn't want to know but he had his suspicions, he just didn't want to admit it. 

Cassian just grunted and crossed his arms. His friend stared at him really hard. 

"What is up with you, Cass? You've been acting weird lately, Rhys and I have been noticing it for quite a while now." Azriel's eyes were filled with concern. "Is it still about Mor?"

He shook his head. "No, it's not her." 

"About Mor, what did happen between you and her? You just stopped mentioning her after the fact that you got her number."

"I fucked it up with her." Cassian admitted, his eyes roamed the concrete.

"Fucked it up how?" 

"Never mind how. The important thing is I don't have a chance with her." He couldn't tell it to Az or anyone. It was still mortifying. 

Thankfully, Az didn't push further and stayed quiet until Rhysand walked up to them, looking like a zombie. "Don't even try to make fun of me right now." He warned the two.

Cassian and Az exchanged knowing glances, smiling. "What are you gonna do if we did?" Cassian challenged him.

Rhysand was speechless.

"Exactly, all bark and no bite." Az felt smug and didn't bother to hide it.

And so Rhysand's morning was filled with endless teasing by the two. He even had to stick his head out the bus window to drown the taunting until the teacher scolded him, which gave Az and Cassian more ammunition against him. He suffered the entire time until the two had enough and cuddled him between them.

* * * * *

In the other bus, it was far more peaceful. Everyone was either sleeping or submerged in the music their earphones emitted. Nesta was neither. She was staring out the window, they were in the center of the city heading for the museum. Lots of pedestrians heading somewhere far more better than the silent bus she was currently in. Amren rested her head against Nesta's shoulder and was sulking.

"You know, it's unfair we had the boring bus. I bet Rhys and the others are having fun while here we are, as silent as a funeral." She grumbled, stuffing more Pringles in her mouth until eventually her small hand got stuck. "Ah! Nesta help me." she wailed.

Ianthe in the very back of the bus shushed them and Amren, with her other functional hand, gave her the finger.

Nesta gripped the red Pringles can and said "Now pull it out." And Amren's hand was freed with a pop. 

"Whew, that was scary." She devoured the rest of the Pringles by dunking the can's content into her mouth.

"Next time, do that instead of shoving your hand down the container, pig." 

Amren ignored her and opened another Pringles can. Ten minutes later, her hand got stuck again.

* * * * *

The museum was enormous and there was, surprisingly, not much of a crowd except for them. That's what you get when it's a Thursday morning. The three men roamed the halls together, often straying away from their bus mates and the tourist guide, having an adventure of their own. They reached the art section of the museum where masterpieces of known artists, painters, and muralists were displayed. They stayed in this area the longest, the pieces were captivating. They stood observing a post modern piece when the sound of approaching footsteps filled the area.

It seems that their batch mates caught up with them.

"Oi! What are you three doing there?" Helion pointed at the trio.

The men casually shrugged him off, they did the same with the teacher who was supposed to be monitoring them. Rhysand strode to where Helion was and accompanied him while Az headed to the back of the line where Kallias and Thesan was conversing merrily. Cassian opted to follow the latter when he caught sight of golden brown hair. _Nesta._

He hated the way his heart skipped a beat and the way his throat tightened when he took her in fully. There was something in the way she assessed everything around her, something behind those stormy eyes of her that fascinated him. What did she think of the mural in front of her? What did she feel?

Cassian shook the thoughts off him and ignored the very presence of _her_. He headed straight to where Azriel was.

* * * * *

She felt his eyes on her. It stayed on her for a full minute. She knows because she mentally counted every second of it. So she stood there, pretending to be deep in thought at the mural in front of her. To be honest, she hated the piece. It was too messy, too gnarly. She felt like she would have a headache if she stared at it longer. Thankfully, she saw in her peripheral vision that Cassian was finally gone. She let out a breath she hadn't noticed she was holding.

 _'How long would we have to be like this? How long would I feel this way towards him?_ ' She put the thought in the very back of her mind and continued to explore the art section.

* * * * *

After the museum, they went to the amusement park thirty minutes away. During the entire bus ride, Cassian immersed himself to Macklemore's songs and blocked out every thought of some woman named 'Nesta'. It worked out well for a while until Amren met with them in the amusement park.

"Hey!" Amren waved them over.

They approached her and exchanged short stories of the day they had.

"So, why'd you called us over?" Rhysand asked.

The small woman grinned. "Well, since it's an amusement park I just wanted to come with you guys for fun. You're a fun bunch."

"Sure thing. We really missed you fool with us." Rhysand pulled her in and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Great! Nesta come over!" Amren yelled to the right where Nesta emerged from the back of an ice cream store mysteriously.

"Agh! Fuck." Cassian swore.

_This is the worst._

 

 

 


	9. Normalcy Strikes Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back. Mwah :*

The gang was having the time of their lives, experiencing everything a slightly decrepit local amusement park can offer. Either they didn’t notice the tension sparking between him and Nesta or they didn’t care. Cassian wagered it was the former.

  
 _Gods, what nice, thoughtful friends I have._ He let out a long breath while trailing after the group, lagging behind. Only if it helped avoid Nesta as much as he can.

  
The eldest Archeron sister walked a few steps ahead of him, staying by Amren’s side the entire half hour since her unannounced arrival. The way she walked was of lethal grace, like a hunter on a prowl—Cassian couldn’t take his eyes off her long legs clad in black jeans. He wondered if Nesta noticed her manner of moving. Slowly, his attention flicked up to her glossy, brown hair that swayed each step she took.

  
“That ride looks like fun.” Rhysand’s voice broke Cassian’s observation and train of thought of Nesta. His friend pointed to a rollercoaster ride.

  
Cassian grimaced at the sight. He may have underestimated this amusement park after all. The rollercoaster was not the regular type. It went up high, really high. The tracks and rails were curving, going sideways, spiralling, and _plummeting_. The screams of the people who rode it were a horrible background noise. He swore he heard Thesan’s voice amongst the screams.

  
“That ride looks like death.” He said pointedly, the exact moment Nesta said, “Let’s try it.”

  
They halted in the middle of the cobblestoned path. Rhysand looked at the two with amusement and interest. Azriel didn’t know what to do, who to side on. Amren just pressed her lips together, as if forcing herself not to smile. Then there was Nesta’s steady gaze, he didn’t back down. They have ignored each other for days and it would all end in this. Cassian could feel the sparks of a fight igniting.

  
“Is anyone else against the idea of the ride except Cassian?” Nesta demanded, an eyebrow arched at each of them.

  
Shaking his head, Rhysand said with a bit of thrill lacing his voice, “I’m as eager as Nesta.”

  
“Same goes for me.” Amren agreed.

  
Everyone turned to Azriel. “I don’t have a problem with rides and heights.” The edge of his lips curled as if apologizing to Cassian.

  
Then those stormy eyes were staring at him. “Either you join us or you wimp out.” A challenge.

  
He contemplated, gaze shifting from the death ride ahead and then her. Those chilling drops were high. Cassian was neutral to heights, he loathed the effects of it afterwards—the nausea and the dizziness.

  
For some reason, he wanted to prove to Nesta something, what—he didn’t know. “I’m not one to ‘wimp’ out, Archeron. You should know who you’re talking to.” And he moved past her, towards the rollercoaster—not giving Nesta a chance for a proper comeback.

  
‘ _Oh, how he fucking gets on my nerves_.’ She seethed and followed him.

  
Amren stayed behind along the two males and sucked on a tooth. “Those two never stop bitching around.”

  
“They’re bound to get physical with the amount of hate they have for each other.” Rhysand watched the two figures sauntering.

  
* * * * *  
Cassian regretted not backing down when he had the chance. They were next in the long snaking line and he felt restless, nervous, and irritated. He was irritated because his pride and that strange desire to prove something to Nesta led him here. _Nesta_. He clenched his jaw when he thought of her name. The devil’s name modernized, no doubt.

  
“You alright there, tiger?” Nesta peered over his shoulder to see his face.

  
He was turned around intentionally—so she could not see the beads of sweat at his brow or his face wan. “Why wouldn’t I be?” He was close to growling.

  
In the corner of his eyes, he saw her smirk. “Your feet say different.”

  
Cassian looked below and saw them tapping relentlessly. Even his body was betraying him. He stilled his feet and glared at her over his shoulder. “Go fuck yourself.”

  
“Oh, I do every night.” She said teasingly.

  
For a while, Cassian’s mind unintentionally pictured it. Those legs spread wide and breasts perky while she drove an enormous dildo into her tight, wet, pink hole. He felt his cheeks burn as blood rushed to his nether parts.

  
‘ _Jesus fuck.Holy mother of god._ ’ He swore as he felt himself harden against his wishes. He was rock hard because of her. Cassian was utterly ashamed.

  
Silence followed the two. Cassian moved farther away from her—as far as the line and the small iron gate that separated them from the ride can give him. Nesta’s brows furrowed as he did so.

  
‘ _It’s not like I said something far more offensive than the usual things I have already said._ ’ She wondered if he was insulted or something. ‘ _Surely he can handle such sexual taunts and remarks.’_

  
It was Cassian. She knows he was worse than her in a way when uttering such things. So Nesta didn’t bother him until the iron gate swung open and it was their turn to ride. Nesta grinned.

  
* * * * *  
The rollercoaster accommodated two passengers per seat and since Nesta was the one next to him in line, she would also be the one beside him during the ride.

  
‘ _How blessed am I?’_ He managed to think sarcastically even with the rapid beating of his heart at the ride.

  
With shaking hands, he clipped on the safety belt and held tight to the steel bar before them. This was it. This is where he will die. Nesta was the exact opposite of him, she was beaming as she jubilantly put her safety belt on and clipped it. A daredevil getting ready for the thrill.

  
“What on earth are you looking at?” She demanded with an air of lightness around her.

  
“A crazy woman who likes to encounter death.” The steel bar lowered itself tightly to protect them—a sign that the ride was about to start.

  
“And you wanna know what I’m looking at,” Nesta locked eyes with him, seeing the sweat on his forehead and his pale complexion. “A man who’s gonna piss his pants in a matter of minutes.”

  
Here he was with an erection tenting in his jeans, riding with the deadliest woman he had ever met, who was also the cause of said erection. He blushed again, unable to reply a taunt. Here he was, about to embarrass himself in front of the said deadliest woman because he was pretty sure he will do something unpleasant in the face of fear.

  
As if taking the blushing of his cheeks as an answer, Nesta looked smug. “Just don’t try to think of Final Destination.”

  
Of course he thought of the series of fatalities especially the one with a rollercoaster designed with accents of the devil. He nearly begged the conductor to release him if not for the look on Nesta’s face when she witnessed her words succeeded into scaring him. Cassian really hated terrible heights and rides but Nesta, oh he _loathed_ her.

  
“Bitch.” He spat, knuckles turning white as he gripped the bar tightly when they began to slowly move. Amren’s whoop of excitement was audible seeing she was right behind them, Rhysand by her side. Azriel seemed to be alone in the back. His friend looked rather pleased with his own company.

  
Nesta only stuck out her tongue and faced the tracks ahead of them, the plunge awaiting them.

  
* * * * *  
The man next to her had the face of a ghost. Cassian’s eyes widened as they carefully neared the plunge. They were high up above, the city view was beautiful. Nesta slightly pitied Cassian, especially as they abruptly descended and everything was a rush to the senses.

  
“Fuck yeah!” Nesta shrieked, thrill overcoming her entire system.

  
The screams and shouts and pleas of their friends and strangers filled her ears along with the whooshing of the wind. She hasn’t heard anything from Cassian. She faced him, her hair flying with the wind.

  
Gods above, Cassian’s eyes were wide in terror and shock, they were bulging and his mouth was agape forming an ‘O’ as if screaming soundlessly. He sat there frozen, clinging to the bar, his muscles strained and visible. Nesta laughed at the sight his expression though she didn’t ignore the latter part of her observation.

  
They twisted and spun and everything was a blur. She enjoyed every second of it. After a few minutes, they finally were at the end of the ride. Adrenaline still rushing in her veins, she was pumped. When they halted and the bar was lifted, Nesta checked on her seatmate and then cracked up once again. Cassian’s eyes weren’t bulging like before but they were shimmering as if he’d cried on the ride, his hair was in all direction, and his mouth was in a thin line. All in all, his expression shouted traumatized and wrecked.

  
“Nice to see you’ve enjoyed the ride, too.” She said sardonically and unbuckled her seatbelt.

  
* * * * *  
Every minute was petrifying and he didn’t even notice his eyes water until the gang mentioned it, chuckling and guffawing at him. Surprisingly, there was no nausea which was a blessing. Cassian swiftly wiped his eyes and stalked away, snarling at them. He recovered his sanity when he stepped into the urinal and then took care of his problem.

  
The disgusting bathroom stall didn’t aid Cassian in jacking off. He also had to be discreet in making any sounds so he pumped his member in a silent fury. He thought of anything but her. He still had an ounce of respect for her. He let out a loud grunt as he climaxed and forgot the people outside the stall. He cleaned up with the tissue roll next to him and sheepishly avoided meeting their judging eyes as he washed his hands. A man shot him a dirty look before Cassian left.

  
‘ _How awkward_.’ He thought and then laughed the whole encounter off.

  
After searching the entire expanse of the amusement park—which was not even close to enormous, for his friends, he saw them huddled up in the food court. He recognized Amren’s short hair in a second. They were laughing as he approached.

  
“What’s going on?” He asked, their backs still turned on him.

  
They all stared at him with crinkling eyes and delight. “The ride offered souvenir photos, so we got one.” Amren shoved a picture at his face.

  
It was a picture of the five of them and his eyes stopped as he saw his face. His eyes were wide and mouth wide open. It was the face of terror. It was also the face his friends had laughed at for minutes. “Give me that.” He grabbed for the picture but Nesta beat him to it.

  
“Oh, I don’t think so.” She tucked in the photo in the back of her jeans.

  
“Give it to me.” He enunciated.

  
“No.” Nesta eyed their surroundings rather mischievously, “Not until you ride that with us.”

  
Cassian and the others looked to where she pointed. It was a tall tower with a ring where seats were and it was encircling it, the ring can go up and down. It currently was performing the ascent and descent. The drop was scary and even Rhysand gulped as he took it in.

“How about no.” Cassian sternly uttered, crossing his arms.

  
“Well, good luck seeing this picture of yours in scattered in every hallway and corridor in school on Monday.” She smiled venomously.

  
‘ _You’re a sadist, Nesta Archeron_.’

  
‘ _Indeed, I am._ ’ Her eyes seemed to answer.

 

 

 


	10. The 'L' Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What is love?" asks Cassian and Nesta for the rest of this chapter.

The adrenaline from the rides has subdued only to be replaced by nausea. Cassian batted the regret of being too eager to prove himself to Nesta away and sauntered for the narrow passage between a souvenir shop and a food stall. All the sounds from the amusement park felt distant the moment Cassian reached midway of the passage—as if there was a barrier from the entire world. He appreciated the numbness and facing the wall, he leaned his head against its warm surface. It provided the tiniest amount of comfort before Cassian hurled at the concrete.

*            *            *            *            *

“I think the Pirate’s Anchor was the least intimidating of all.” Rhysand said, flexing his fingers.

Amren beside him nodded, “Same here. The one with the tunnel and the water though, what’s it called again? The Tunnel of the Damned? The Tunnel of the Damsels? No, that wouldn’t make sen-”

“It’s The Tunnel of Doom, stupid.” Nesta snapped.

“Yeah, that’s the one. It’s by far the craziest ride here.”

Azriel and Rhysand seemed to agree with the small lady.

‘I don’t think so. I think the rollercoaster up high was the most terrifying for _others_.’ Was what Nesta was supposed to say but noticed the sudden absence of the person she was mentioning. She furrowed her brows and looked around. She caught the sight of a familiar figure throwing up in the space between two shops in their far right. Oddly, Nesta didn’t feel any satisfaction at the moment—this worried her but there were other matters her mind was concerned for the time being such as the man she was looking at.

“I’m going to the ladies room.” She stated and took off.

*            *            *            *            *

His head was spinning like crazy, his arms using the wall for support tensed as another wave of vomit escaped his mouth. After Cassian was finished retching, he breathed deeply and stared at the mess he made. _This is where pride and ego gets you._

Cassian wiped the sweat on his forehead and crouched, his hands resting on his thighs. It was a good idea that he did so as he vomited again ten seconds later. While puking, a hand rubbed down his back and all he could see was the tip of the shoes the person wore. The person continued even after he was done.

“I think that’s the last of it.” Cassian said, closing his eyes. Something cold was pressed against his cheek and he opened his eyes in surprise—a bottle of water held by a feminine hand.

Slowly rising and turning around, he faced the woman and his eyes widened. _So miracles do happen._

“Nesta,” Those stormy eyes staring back at him, “Wha-“

“Shhh.” Her index  finger pressed against his lips. “Drink some water. Save your breath till you’ve recovered.”

This kindness was extremely odd but nonetheless Cassian obeyed and took the bottle from her grip. Nesta stayed until he drank half of its content and then walked out the passageway without another word. Cassian remembered their embrace outside the Night Court—the first act of kindness Nesta had shown and this makes it the second. His heart was racing and he knew it wasn’t from the vomiting. Shaking his head, Cassian downed the remaining water in just one gulp.

*            *            *            *            *

Thus they were back to square one again. After that event in the passageway, the two ignored and avoided each other from the camping activities in the forest to the setting up of tents for the night. It got their three friends confused but the two were far more confused than they were.

“Whew, I’m beat.” Amren flopped down the cot they set up inside their tent.

They didn’t expect the activities the school set up for them to turn hardcore. They went rock climbing, as in literal rocks beside the waterfall, there were professionals who watched out for them and equipment was handed yet it scared some of them: Cassian. Nesta shook her head remembering the scene earlier—the entire senior year watching Cassian struggle and quiver in fear as he slowly climbed.

“Did you see Thesan row their boat like crazy? Man, those biceps were bulging.” Amren broke her reverie.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Nesta lay beside her, snuggling a pillow. “Amren?”

“Yeah?” They lay there inside the flashlight lit tent face to face.

Nesta hesitated. This might sound shocking for her friend to hear from her very own lips. She closed her eyes. There are some things that are better said out loud. “Have you ever been in love?”

Amren’s brow rose so high that Nesta wondered if they would pass her hairline. “Where is this coming from? Are _you_ in love? This is so random!”

“Quiet!” Nesta hissed, “There are people in the surrounding tents.”

The other girl covered her grinning mouth. “Whoops, my bad. Do tell me what this is all about.”

Nesta fidgeted with the tail of the pillow cover, “It’s not that I’m in love, you know. We’re eighteen and we’re in the age where curiosity and love just takes a major part in. I’m just wondering if you’ve experienced love.”

Their legs overlapped one another and it felt like a sleepover for Nesta—telling love stories of their own and whispering in the dark.

“No, sorry to burst your bubble but I’ve never been in love.” She pursed her lips and then hugged a pillow she got from her back. They bought plenty of pillows for the trip and Pringles. Nesta hoped Amren wouldn’t eat inside the tent or else they’d be a feast for the ants. “I don’t even know what love is. All I have is a tiny idea on what it is.”

“How come you’ve never been in love? You don’t even have crushes. It’s like you’re not interested at all.” Not once did Amren show care and affection in a romantic manner towards someone.

“Because I really don’t care. Maybe I’m you know…asexual.”  She shrugged.

“That’s a common misconception of being asexual. People think asexuals aren’t capable of love but they are—they’re just not capable of being sexual. Those are two different things.”

“Ohh. Well, maybe I’m reverse asexual? I can be sexual but I can’t do emotions like love.” Amren chuckled.

“Whatever you say, Ms. Reverse Asexual.” Nesta reached out and ruffled her jet black hair. “Then what’s your idea of love?”

Amren smiled through the hair that fell down her face. “Sounds pretty cheesy but that’s what stupid love is. You know you love someone when you show care for them and that you would sacrifice for their sake and they would do the same for you.”

Care. Nesta remembered the tears spilling from Cassian and the way her arms wrapped around him in comfort and earlier with the water bottle. How her hands couldn’t stop rubbing his back as he was sick, how she couldn’t leave until he drank water.

“Oh, okay.” Was all she said.

“What about you? Ever been in love?” Amren nudged her ankle using her foot, she was so tiny.

“I-I don’t know.”

Amren didn’t bother to ask her what she meant and drifted to sleep—the exhaustion washing over her tiny frame. The sounds of forest insects and crickets filled their tiny tent along with Amren’s heavy breathing. Nesta lay on her back and stared up the tent. She lay there until Amarantha ordered lights out, she lay there until some of the crickets fell silent, and she lay there until her heart calmed its beating.

*            *            *            *            *

The three men were savoring the wideness of their tent. It could fit 6 grown men inside—compared to the other tents, this was heaven. They spread out across the softest comforter in the entire universe.

“Jesus Christ,” Cassian moaned.

“I know right. I could stay in here all day.” Azriel smiled in pleasure.

Cassian was nearest to the entrance or exit flaps and Rhysand was in the very end while Azriel stayed in the middle. Rhysand fished his phone out of his bag and swore. “Agh! No signal. This is just great.”

“Aww, did you wish to phone sex with Feyre?”Cassian guffawed.

“It’s none of your business.” Rhys growled.

“Actually it is since there is a huge possibility you’ll do it in our ever so pleasing tent with us inside it.” Az pointed out.

The boy at the end stuffed his phone back to his bag. “Obviously, I’ll do it outside in the woods.”

“Ah, so Amarantha can cut your penis off when she catches you.” Cassian beamed at the idea while resting his head on his hands.

Couple of banters and insults were exchanged during the night before the witch announced lights out yet their conversation didn’t stop in the dark.

Azriel cut through the silence, “Where do you think you and Feyre are heading?”

“What do you mean? We’re already a couple, aren’t we?”

“I mean, d’you think you’d go all the way with her? I’m talking about marriage.”

“Oh, _that._ ” Their friend drummed his fingers against his thigh. “I suppose it is a possibility. Feyre is special.”

For some reason, Cassian was interested in the topic. This has been happening recently—his sudden interests in topics for an unknown reason. “You do love her, right?”

“Duh, I do.” Then his gaze seemed to drift away as if he could see a memory of him and Feyre.

“….And he’s gone.” Az sighed, burrowing deep into a blanket.

Love—does anyone really know what it means?  Also, when do you know you’re in love? What’s the signs? To love and to be loved in return are two separate things. Sometimes you just get to experience one of them but Cassian knew he wanted to feel both.

 


	11. Painful Pleasures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally...

Sleep didn’t come for Nesta. She might have been awake for fifteen minutes or an hour. It didn’t feel like there was a difference, her mind didn’t let her sleep. Seems like her brain was kept up by a golden skinned man who was likely twenty tents away. Speaking of tents, the one she’s currently residing in felt suffocating as if the thoughts running through her mind floated up and took place inside the tent, closing in on her. The Archeron woman yearned for air and that she would get.

The forest clearing was bathed in moonlight. It was silent save for the crickets and the occasional snoring. If there were some horny and in heat couple snogging somewhere, well, they did their best staying silent or the insects covered up for them. Either way, Nesta was delighted by the ambience. Watching out for the evil principal, she went for the woods. Nesta loved the night and how mysterious it can be, it reminded her of fairytales.

Strolling in the woods during the night thrilled her. It was a beautiful experience—seeing beams of moonlight piercing through the canopy of trees and the night chill rushing to her skin since she only wore a night gown. She grinned and swayed in the dark.

‘ _If only this moment would last forever and ever.’_ She didn’t want to part with it but a scent intervened Nesta’s brief moment of happiness. It was the smell of smoke—of cigarette.

*            *            *            *            *

Truth be told, thinking about such a thing as love called for an emergency cigarette. It was fucking stressful. Cassian puffed on his second stick when he heard footsteps through the woods. He was about to throw his cigar to the earth when he saw Nesta.

Ever so carefully he hid behind a tree and watched _._ ‘ _I feel like a total creep._ ’ He thought while peeking from the trunk.

Cassian noticed the glow in her face as her eyes took in the trees—he also noticed the thin clothing she wore but forced his gaze not to linger in _those_ areas. Then she swayed all of a sudden and the smile she wore was unfaltering. _‘Why is she happy?’_

Abruptly, Nesta’s lips were a tight line and she halted her swaying only to look at his direction—to the smoke in his hand.

‘ _Fuck_.’

“Who’s there?” Her demand echoed through the forest.

Cassian sighed and left his hiding spot, revealing himself to Nesta. “Just me.” He said coolly before taking a drag from his remaining cigarette.

“What are you doing here?” She neared him, bewilderment in her voice.

“I could ask you the same thing. Why is Nesta Archeron wandering the woods at night to dance in secrecy?” A smile played on Cassian’s lips and Nesta wanted to smack it off possibly with her hands or her lips—unbeknownst to the male, his companion was battling internal problems brought to her by that unwanted thought.

For a moment there was a pause, “Swaying is not dancing but what would you know about the topic.”

Cassian took a step forward, discarding his cigar, their bodies close and breathing in unison. “I’ll have you know that I’m skilled at many things and dancing _is_ one of them.”

The next moments surprised both Cassian and Nesta. The Archeron sister smiled, actually smiled, at him and tilted her face to gaze up at him. “I’m glad we’re talking again.”

 _‘Maybe I should acknowledge the things I feel for him. It might not be love but it’s close enough.’_ She thought, her heart palpitating wildly.

Under the moonlight, they stood near one another staring and wondering. He was speechless, he came here to figure out this whole endeavor with her and now she’s making it more challenging to decipher—or easier. ‘

 _‘Could it be? Is it possible that she feels the same?’_  There’s only one way to know then.

Cassian cleared his throat and held her gaze. “Yeah, the banters were entertaining.” _‘I can’t do it, shit. Agh, why is it so hard.’_

Awkwardness followed afterwards and Nesta struggled to keep a conversation, the days they ignored each other catching up to her—she wanted to keep on talking with him. “Well, why did we stop talking to each other, again?”

“Because you always do these things that is so out of your character and then we feel uncomfortable or something, I don’t know.”

“What do you mean out of my character? Do you even know who I am?” Annoyance was rising to Nesta’s system, possibly ruining the previous mood they had.

Cassian felt this and raised his hands in defense, “Well, you act like you hate my very existence and then you hug me when I’m drunk or take care of me when I vomited because of _your_ stupid idea to challenge me in the rides.”

“Whose fault was it that you accepted the challenge?” She shouted at his face, catching a whiff of smoke and nicotine. “And is it so bad of me to actually show concern? I know I can be cold and harsh but I’m not a complete monster.”

Somehow, when Cassian implied she was cold hearted it stung. Normally, she wouldn’t give a rat’s ass on that kind of comment but when it came to him…

“I’m confused right now! Do you hate me or what?” Cassian ruffled his hair in frustration.

This woman was difficult and by the Gods she also didn’t know what she was doing. They were a pair impaired mentally at the moment. Nesta’s rage turned in to aggravation at the question, she was close to ripping her hair out and she feared Cassian was, too.

“Fuck, I do! I don’t. I used to. I don’t know!” She shoved at his chest, hoping it would help her express her struggle, it barely did. Her shove didn’t so much have an effect to the man, he stayed upright.

Cassian narrowed his eyes at her. “I know you’re the one who normally asks this but do you like me?” There he let the question hang in the air between them. A blush crept to Nesta’s cheeks from her neck.

“N-no! Don’t be ridiculous. Why would I—” She shook her head, still blushing. Was the blush because of anger or embarrassment? Cassian did not know, he just assessed her. “Maybe we should just go back to avoiding each—” Nesta began to turn away from him but Cassian gripped her wrist, interrupting her midsentence.

“No.” His voice low, and unyielding. They weren’t going back to square one again. This has to end.

Nesta did not remove his grip. “What do you me—”

All of a sudden, Cassian drew her close and their lips met. First, it was light, caressing. Nesta did not protest, the shock in her system was slowly washing away only to be turned into something lustful. She bit his lip and Cassian gasped, it was his turn to be surprised. Nesta removed his hold on her wrist and wrapped her arms around his neck. Their tongues went into a dance and their breathing went deep. Cassian can feel her breasts under her nightgown, tender against his chest. He slithered his hand beneath her cloth and felt the warm soft skin. Before he could touch again, Cassian pinned Nesta to a nearby tree, enclosing her with his body.

Hearing Nesta’s moans as his finger rubbed her nipples until they were perky, brought an overwhelming erection to him. Nesta wrapped her legs around his waist and grinded. He moaned at the friction while he kissed and nipped her neck and collarbones, leaving marks that would last for days. The drive flooding his mind and body was divine. This was the lust pent up from Nesta.

Nesta tugged at his shirt and Cassian got the message, he removed his shirt to reveal his sculpted chest. “God, you’re so ripped.” She savored the sight and ran her nails down his chest.

Cassian continued grinding her, the rhythm ascending and so did their heartbeats. “Yeah, I got all that by dancing.” He joked around.

“I still don’t…believe you...dance.” She said between moans as Cassian bit her earlobe.

The strain in his pants was unbearable and thankfully Nesta noticed and untangled her legs from him. “Looks like you need some help down there.” She teased, slowly getting to her knees.

Needing a release, he bunched her hair in his hand and tugged on it. “Do this and I’ll return the favor.” He unzipped his pants to let his member out.

“Fair enough.” She smiled deviously at him and gazed at his cock. She paused, there was something familiar about it.

“I know he’s quite big but you can fit it in.” He said proudly, thinking the assessment Nesta was making is because of its length and physique.

 _‘I’ve seen this before.’_ Her brain was itching for the answer.

Then her eyes widened in recognition. “You’re Wang Guy!”

Cassian let go of her hair and looked down at her in confusion. “What?”

Nesta was getting up and when she faced him, her face was the mask of fury. “You sent me that dick pic!” She thumped her fist at his chest and this time he back a step.

“I don’t know what you mean.” He didn’t know how it went from sexual to this. His erection was painful and Nesta was raging on about some dick pic. “The only picture I sent was to Mor and it was accidental.”

Nesta stared him down. “Give me proof because I swear I have seen your dick before and it was from a text sent in the middle of a night.”

Cassian held back his frustration in the erection area and fished his phone out his jean pocket.  He opened his messages and pressed on his chat with Mor. “Here you go, satisfied?” He shoved the phone screen at her face.

“I am. That’s my fucking number right there.” She stated, crossing her arms.

 He was dumbfounded. “What? This is Mor’s. She gave it to me.”

“Nope, that’s mine.” And she recited the number. “You know what, have fun by yourself.”

Cassian watched Nesta trudge away from him and he got the feeling she was truly angry at him. He looked down at his still erected cock and debated whether he jack off but the mood has passed so he zipped his pants and picked up his discarded shirt from the earth. Slowly, he walked back to the tent with his painful erection and thought of the painful pleasure he felt, not of his current state in his nether regions but with the woman who walked away from him. He didn’t want Nesta gone. He just wanted her to smile at him like before and pester him all day long with banters. Maybe it was love but it was too early to say.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...just teasing you all


	12. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mornings and emotions after. Among other things like quail eggs.

The heat and brightness of the sunlight seeping from the tent’s fabric caused Cassian to stir. Slowly, he opened his eyes and kept his gaze upward, at the roof of the tent. ‘ _How could it have been Nesta’s number?_ ’ Was his first thought of the morning.

He wouldn’t blame Mor if she gave him a fake number but…Nesta’s number? Was that intentional or purely bad luck? Nesta doesn’t seem like the type to give her number to Mor or anyone else except Amren and her sisters. How did it end up as Nesta’s number?! It frustrated Cassian. He wouldn’t be in such a situation if that entire number swapping didn’t happen.

A body—Azriel, shifted and turned facing him. Through narrowed eyes, Az asked gruffly, “What’s with the face?”

“What face?” Cassian dragged his gaze downward to the boy beside him, allowing Azriel to take his mind off the previous thoughts.

“For a second, it looked like you had a major problem.”

“Maybe, I do.”

Silence waited inside the tent aside from Rhysand’s soft snores in the corner, the chirping of birds outside was barely audible. Az let his friend decide whether to tell his burden or not. His friend chose the former.

“I sent an unwanted picture somebody and it was weeks ago. Now I’m experiencing its consequences.” He sighed, it’s as much as he can tell his friend without revealing what kind of picture it was and who he sent it to.

“That kinda reminds me of something Rhys told me.” He looked over his shoulder to check on the sleeping figure still snoring.

Cassian frowned, “Yeah, what of it?”

“Some guy sent Nesta a picture of their…dick in the middle of the night.” Az whispered the explicit word, being a poster child of discipline and respect programs.

It was a good thing Cassian had enough restraint and common sense to stop himself from showing any suspicious emotions. ‘ _You knew?_ ’ Sat at the tip of his tongue but shoved the words back down. “Bet she didn’t see that coming.”

‘ _Heck,_ I _didn’t see that coming._ ’

Az grinned, “It got her rattled and woke Feyre up. She raged on and on until morning.”

Cassian fought the urge to run a hand down his face in frustration and anger. ‘ _How stupid can I be?_ ’ “How’d you know about this?”

“Feyre told Rhys then he told me. Oh, did you know that Feyre invited Nesta to join us for lunch because of that picture? She thought it was fair for Nesta to pay for what she’s done the last night, so that led us to officially meet her.” The other black haired male sat up and ruffled his hair, “Funny, how a genital can change lives.”

Despite the situation Cas laughed, “Really, Az? You wouldn’t even say penis or dick?”

He threw a pillow at him.

Removing the pillow from his face, Cassian pondered. If Mor didn’t fake her number then he wouldn’t have celebrated and sent a dick pic. Meaning Nesta would get a goodnight sleep and Feyre wouldn’t drag her sister to meet them. ‘ _Nesta and I would never have met and I’d still be crazy for Mor.’_

“Yeah, it’s really funny how one genital can change lives.” He mumbled.

* * * * *

The moment Amarantha and her cronies announced breakfast, the entire camp slowly awakened. Each individual sluggishly heading to the selection of foods served on a long wooden table. Cassian searched for a suitable dining place. Judging from the lack of such, it seems like the entire senior year would eat on the grassy earth.

“Well, what’d you expect? Fancy mahogany wood, your majesty?” Beside a lethargic Azriel, Rhys mockingly replied to Cassian’s complaint.

Cass huffed and trudged ahead of the two. It was too early for such banter, not to mention his crappy mood. Supposedly, Cassian was heading for the minimal feast but he glimpsed a familiar figure to his left. It was someone he needed to talk to and luckily she was alone.

Thanks to football practices, he had the agility and speed to dart away and around students blocking his path to Mor. The blonde haired woman was fixing her hair when he reached her.

“Hey.”

“Cassian!” She jerked her hand from her hair and stood still, eyes wide.

They were in the edge of the clearing, still not enough privacy. “I just need a minute. Can we talk somewhere quiet?”

The look in her eyes was conflicted. “Umm..”  
“Listen, I just wanted to know why you did it. That’s all.” He said softly.

“You’re not mad?” Mor seemed taken aback by his calm presence.

“What? No.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, “I understand if you didn’t know how to say no then. I’m just curious _why_ you did it.”

Under his touch, Mor’s taut body relaxed as she let out a deep breath. “Perhaps we should talk there in the woods.”

He followed Mor deep into the close crop of trees, the camp distant. The chirping of birds became their constant companion and the crispy leaves crunching beneath their feet. For what felt like an entire song for Cassian (he mentally sang _Fergalicious_ along the way), Mor halted in front of a boulder suitable enough for sitting.

“I’m really sorry, Cassian, for the entire thing.” She started, perching herself atop the rock. “I thought you’d be furious at me when you found out.”

“Why do you keep saying that?” He waved a hand in the air, perplexed. “It bothers me. Maybe I’d feel downcast but not furious.”

“You seemed like the type of guy who never takes no for an answer.” Her eyes looked down on him in assessment.

It felt like a massive blow to hear Mor’s thoughts of him. Was that how the entire student body perceived him? There was a time when Cassian would shrug these words away, like a leaf that fell on his shoulder. Did he come off as a prideful, egotistic jock who loves to stare at his face on every reflective surface along with his friends? Was that how Nesta see him? Is that why she despises him?

Pursing his lips, Cassian stared at the earth pelted with leaves below him. “You can’t be serious.”

Mor’s tone was gentle. “Well, that’s how I saw you. Every time you’re around, I only hear you boasting your victory on a recent game or how good you are at football.”

Cassian winced. He had the worst wooing mechanism in the entire universe. It usually works on a lot of women, except Mor. And Nesta. “I was, you know, showing off. Whenever I know you’re near, my mouth becomes uncontrollable and I just go crazy.”

“So, you become a stereotypical douche when I’m there?” Cass looks up and sees Mor holding back a smile. “That’s just horrible.”

Mor was captivating. Her beauty was ethereal—rosy cheeks, lively eyes, and hair as bright as the sun and its rays. He used to live off the sight of Mor smiling the way she is right now. Remembering the emotion, it feels impossible now. Like a different lifetime ago. A fiery woman now resides in his mind and chest, whose words can slash through metal and pierce every person’s sense of being.

“Tell me about it. I made a huge tool of myself instead of actually being myself.” He shook his head.

“Looking at you, I can see how different you really are from _that_ Cassian.” A grin breaks out of her, the memory of Cassian floundering fresh in her mind. “I owe you an explanation to my actions, at least.”

He waits in anticipation.

Racing back to the topic, Mor sits up straight and began. “I’ve always known you’ve had a crush on me. I always made it my task to avoid you since then because of what I said earlier. I feared you. Then you suddenly approach me, all alone without my friends who usually save me from you, and ask for my number.”

Cassian remembers that very day, then the celebration that followed and of course, his folly.

“It was too random, I wasn’t prepared for it. I panicked and gave you a made up number. Eventually, you’d know it was fake the moment you try to call it.” She stared at him apologetically. “So, when you chased after me the morning after I freaked out, too. I thought you’d kill me. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you ever since.”

Truth be told, Mor shouldn’t apologize for anything. It was an accident. She didn’t know it was Nesta’s number. The only person to blame was himself for his intoxication and awful deed.

“Doesn’t matter now, it’s all in the past. However, I’m impressed by how fast you can procure fake numbers.” He lightens the mood for her, offering a warm smile.

She grins sheepishly, “Shush, let’s never speak of this again.”

“I second the notion.” Cassian gestures towards the direction they came, leading to the camp. “I believe we have missed Amarantha’s baked quail eggs by now.”

Mor twists her face in repugnance as she leaps off the boulder. “Yuck.”

* * * * *

Nesta couldn’t believe her own eyes. Her gaze trailing the duo stepping into the woods, Cassian removing his grip off Mor’s shoulder to follow the woman somewhere secluded. ‘ _To do what, exactly?’_

Everything was fresh from memory; the smoke, the study of _human anatomy_ , and then the revelation of Mr. Wang Guy. Why would Cassian _accidentally_ send Mor a dick pic? The confusion shown on his features last night when her number perfectly matched with the one on his phone, bothered her. Clearly, she’s been missing out on something.

The line she was in moved forward, nearing the food servings prepared by the oh-so-lovely principal and her goons. From a distance, Nesta could see the platter at the very end of the table—quailed eggs. She grimaced. Amarantha’s cooking is infamous at school, and not for its delicious taste. They were sometimes in the cafeteria and it was mandatory for everyone to have one. Lunch ladies observed strictness during those days.

“Hey,” The little woman appears beside her, “You didn’t even wake me up for breakfast.”

“Oh, that. I had other things on my mind.” Nesta ignores the tone of her friend. “Sorry. If I knew sooner that they were serving quail eggs, I would have waked you up as fast as I can.”

Amren stomps her tiny feet in to the grass in annoyance, glaring holes at the mentioned food. “Don’t tell me they’re going to spoon feed us her wretched creations.”

“I think they will.” The sight of the faculty serving food behind the table, planting rice onto student’s plates, giving this unlucky student a handful of quailed eggs, drains Nesta’s appetite. “Again.”

“As soon as I graduate, I’m reporting this entire situation to the department of health.” With the steel and certainty in Amren’s voice, Nesta thinks she might really do it. Not that she’d complain.

* * * * *

They joined Az and Rhys for breakfast on the ground, without Cassian. Not surprising for Nesta. The two men, however, are jumping to conclusions as to why he’s absent.

“You think he got mauled by a bear?” Rhys wondered, nudging his friend. Az prevented the spill of the water he was downing. “Or stepped into a wasp’s nest?”

“I dunno. Maybe he’s with a girl.”

“Got that one right.” Nesta mumbled, plunging her fork on a hotdog quite intensely, so.

“What was that?” Amren asked. 

“Nothing.”

“If it was a girl, who could it be? Defo not Mor.” said Rhys, leaving his quailed eggs at the side of the paper plate unattended. Among them, Az was the only brave soul to think the food was edible, he finished them first.

The said individual snorted, it was unlike him. Was he like this every morning? “I’d wager that one, too. He was kind of troubled earlier, woke up looking pained or something like that.”

Nesta’s ears perked up. Subterfuge in mind, she uttered, “Maybe it was something shallow, like he forgot to bring a mirror?”

“Come on, Nesta. I know you dislike him but you’re seriously thinking that’s his big issue. Besides, we each bring emergency mirrors and phones could do the job.” Rhysand patted his slick hair suavely. 

“I can’t believe my sister’s dating someone who just said that and thought Cassian got mauled by a bear in a _bear-less_ forest.” She glared at him unyielding.

“It’s about sending something to someone and it’s taking a toll on him. Let’s just leave him be. If he wants to tell us, he’ll come by.” Az stared at the three, his tone final. 

Holding back her disappointment, Nesta munched on a hotdog and absent-mindedly searched the clearing’s edges for Cassian. _What could he and Mor be doing right now?_ Waiting for the two, her eyes alert as an owl’s, she forked at her plate for hotdogs and was ready to devour it until Cassian appeared among the outer ring of trees. With Mor beaming at him. And so is he. Bitterly, Nesta watched the two split and then took a bite of her hotdog only to taste something like armpit. _Amarantha’s quailed eggs._ The horror. Nesta spat the revolting thing, snatching the cup of water she had. 

While drinking, their P.E teacher who was also their activity master at the field trip announced across the entire clearing with her megaphone, “Students with leftovers on their plates would receive a deduction from their team’s scoreboard in the games. The winning team will have additional points for Math, Chemistry, and Science final examinations.”

“God dammnit!” Thesan from the right side of the clearing looked down at his plate; empty except for the four quail eggs. 

“Minus three to Thesan’s team.” Their teacher declared before turning the megaphone off, leaving no room for argument.

“Shit, that was my team.” Amren said under her breath. 

Everyone at their group looked glum, all except for Azriel, who kept eating vigorously. 

* * * * *

Home was awfully quiet with his mom at work. Cassian trudged upstairs, camping stuff in hand. He looked back at the moment he joined the squad for breakfast, Nesta immediately rose from her cross-legged position with her mouth full of quail eggs. ‘ _How courageous of her.’_ He thought, following her until she disappeared at the woods to vomit, probably. 

The last time she saw him was when they were entering the buses. She was in line with Amren, facing away from him. That was it. He had to talk to her. To explain. Hell, he’s not giving up on her now. Currently, Cass dumped his bags at on his bedroom floor and laid flat on his bed. He wanted to take a nap but she kept clouding his thoughts. 

* * * * *

Hot droplets from the shower pelted her back. Nesta nearly moaned. It felt good to be back and to be clean. Mud and dirt clung to her nails earlier, she got them from the activities. In the end, all her team’s efforts were wasted. Mor’s team won. The thought of Mor somehow darkened her mood. She was acting irrational all because of a boy. 

“Stupid. It’s ridiculous, Nesta.” She hissed, scrubbing her elbows with a loofah. 

She put the memory of their smiles at the back of her mind. What she couldn’t put aside was last night. If she didn’t recognize his member then…

“Ah! Stop it, Nes.” She shook her head, shutting her eyes. Some of her wet hair flicked side to side. 

Fucked. That’s what they might have done. Against the tree or under its canopy, with nobody in sight. In the woods. At night. Warmth spread over her body, cheeks and between her thighs. ‘ _God, that would’ve been so hot.’_

The sudden arousal came and took over her. Slow and sure fingers made their way down, it was no surprise to feel the wetness there. After all, it is Cassian. Now she understood why her classmates yearn for him. Before any more action could happen with her and her loofah, somebody—probably, Feyre, rapped on the bathroom door. “Nesta! Phone call for you.” 

“Give me a break.” Throwing the loofah at the wet tile, she turned the shower off and stepped out. 

Aggressively wrapping a towel around her body, Nesta entered her room. “Who is it?!” 

“Uhh…I don’t know!” 

She huffed and took the telephone on her bedside table off its cradle, “Nesta Archeron. Who is this.”

* * * * *

A demand and not a question. 

Cassian winced at the tone and looked at his telephone’s receiver. This might have been a mistake. Is the phone really a suitable medium to settle this matter? Gathering his courage, Cassian placed the receiver to his ear. “It’s me, Cassian.”

Silence for a few moments and then, “What do you want?” 

“To explain about Mor, the picture, everything.” _Please_. The word got caught in his throat. 

“Just stop. You sent it, it’s done.” Cold, she was good at being that but if he could see her eyes right now, the entire façade would fall. “As to Mor, do whatever you want with her. It’s not like I care.” 

Cassian got up from the bed and cradled the telephone, leaning against his window frame. “Let’s just shove all this pretense away for five minutes, Nesta. I—“ 

“How did you even get my telephone number. What, did Mor give that to you, too?” She cut him off, at the other end of the line Nesta’s body was taut. ‘ _Good, cut him off before he says something out of place.’_

Dumfounded, Cassian says, “What? No, Mor isn’t involved anymore. Just let me explain.” His eyes rove the horizon before him as if he can plea to the gods to let her listen.

“Goodbye, Cassian. Don’t ever call again or text.” That was it. She hung up. 

He returned the receiver to its cradle and sat at the edge of his bed. He’s right. This shouldn’t be done over the phone or virtually. He hoped that Monday would come soon.

* * * * *

Why on earth did she nearly masturbate because of Cassian? Nesta stared at the fallen loofah and felt exasperated. Shame followed the emotion. The thought of entering the shower again felt dirty, she shut the bathroom door behind her and changed in to clean clothes. 

No matter how long she stayed in bed, reading, she couldn’t shake off the eagerness and determinedness of the boy with the brown eyes. 

_‘Let’s just shove all this pretense away…’_ He’d said. 

‘ _What was he going to say before I cut him off?’_ Nesta rolled her eyes. “Well, obviously I shouldn’t have cut him off, then.” 

Sighing, she returned back to her novel and wished the weekend could last longer. Or at least, that’s what she thought she wanted.

 


	13. Feral

 Students flocked towards the canteen at recess, Rhysand and Feyre however, had plans of their own. It includes a full thirty minute make out (or something more) session in the broom closet. Rhysand let his girlfriend lead the way around the halls, weaving around the crowd heading in the opposite direction. He could feel the excitement off Feyre, in her movements, her steps, her speed, and her grip on his hand.

 _‘Typical, Feyre.’_ He smirked, staring at the back of her head.

The hallway in which their closet resided in was empty, save for the three girls walking ahead of them. Slyly, Feyre slipped in the dark space they have been accustomed to for the following weeks and so did Rhysand. As soon as the door shut behind them, she turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck, enclosing him.

“Eager, are we?” He teased, sliding his hand beneath her shirt, and the other gripping her waist.

“That obvious, huh?” She kissed the corner of his lip; it was her favorite thing to do.

Rhysand fondled with her breast, her bra pushed up the swells, while his other hand ventured south. “Was Biology really that boring?”

“It’s the weekend, babe.” Feyre moaned as she felt Rhysand’s fingers rubbing her bud beneath her skirt. “I missed you.”

“I miss—“ 

Rhysand was cut off by Feyre, she pushed off him and he withdrew his hands, sensing something off. “Wait a minute, Rhys.” A memory escaped her and it was random to bring it up now but the topic was really befuddling. “Did something happen between Nesta and Cassian? Like during camping?”

Her boyfriend scrunched his face in puzzlement. “No.” He drawled out, thinking about it. “At least, I don’t think so. Why? What’s with the random question?”

“It’s just that Cassian texted me last Friday, asking if there was a telephone at home that he could reach Nesta. I didn’t ask why, thinking you’d fill me in on what’s happening, so I gave him Nesta’s telephone number.” Feyre looked at Rhys.

“I’d just heard of this now. Azriel did say he was having problems because he sent something, I don’t know what, to someone.” What was happening to his friend? “Why would he ask for Nesta’s number?”

“Exactly, and that’s not all. He called Nesta two minutes after asking me.” Feyre’s bewilderment filled the room. “After that call, Nesta seemed extra bitchy—as if she needed more of that.”

Rhysand grabbed Feyre by her shoulders, “Are we missing something? Did something happen between them?”

“ _I_ asked you that, stupid.” She rolled her eyes, “Maybe they’re just upgrading they’re battlefield via landline now.”

“Agh, Cassian will tell us if he’s ready. Whatever the hell that is. But for now,” He pulled her close, face and body set into seductive mode. “I’m not wasting twenty minutes to talk about Nesta and Cassian.”

She smiled in the dark. The two forgotten by the couple and raging hormones return. They stayed there until Azriel knocked on their closet and said, “You missed Chem.”  

*            *            *            *            *

The bell rang, signaling the end of Literature. Everybody rushed to the door, their teacher’s voice forgotten by the din of the students. Cassian pushed some people out of his way until he was in the corridor, everyone was either opening their locker or shutting them for the next period.

 _’Where is she?’_ His eyes sought for her at the long corridor.  

He moved hurriedly, pace steady and unwavering. Walking down the corridor where most of the senior’s lockers and classes are located. Finally, he caught sight of her at the end of the corridor, in front of her locker grabbing some books. _‘Looks like somebody’s gonna miss their History class for today.’_

Two days. He kept on stewing and contemplating during Saturday and Sunday, he was itching for Monday to come. Cassian went straight for her, leaning against the locker next to hers. When she shut her locker, her eyes directly went to his.

“What do you want?” Nesta gripped her books tightly, knuckles turning white.

“You know what I want.” He straightened, towering over her.

Unfortunately, Nesta isn’t intimidated that easily. “No way are you getting that. See ya.”

She took one step away before a hand latched on her wrist, its warmth and strength burning holes into her skin. In complete silence, Cassian dragged Nesta away from the corridor where more than a dozen pair of eyes landed between the two. Nesta tried to put some weight to her body, but Cassian only kept going effortlessly as if she weighed nothing. How humiliating it was for her to get handled like this by him in public. She restrained the urge to shake out of his grip like a wild beast.

At the shrill cry of the bell, people scurried to their next class, the corridor emptying itself slowly. They turned to a corner, Cassian dragging her along the silent hall. This was the junior’s area, it leads to either the dusty dead end where a former science lab and an unused music room resided or the soccer field. Nesta was having none of this.

“Let go of me! I am not missing History for your stupid ass.” She spat, trying to escape from his hold. Her cheeks burned with anger. First, he takes her against her will and then humiliates her in front of half the senior class by treating her brutishly.

His features remained stoic, “It’s all a bunch of stuff that’s already happened. Trust me, you’re not missing anything.”

“Oh, so that makes everything better?” Nesta eyed her surroundings, “What are we doing here?”

The halls they passed by gradually became remote and dank. The paint on the walls were chipped, specks of dust were everywhere. It was the decrepit quarters. While walking, Cassian managed his grip to be gentle—to not wound her and truly pain her.

“Finishing what I started on the telephone.”  They paused in front of a door that Cassian knows too well, he opened the door and lightly pushed Nesta in. He’s not proud of what he’s doing to her but if that’s what it takes to get her to stop pretending and let him in, then it’s what he’ll do. This is what happens when you put two stubborn people together—borderline chaos.

Nesta moved further into the room beside an old piano, frowning at the spot he gripped her. She wrinkled her nose in distaste, “It smells like smoke here.”

Indeed, the abandoned music room did contain a faint scent of cigarettes. That’s nothing new to Cassian. “That’s probably Thesan’s earlier.” He shut the door behind him and motes of dust flew in the air.

Putting down her books atop the covered piano keyboard, Nesta straightened her back at Cassian approaching. “Listen, I don’t want your explanation. Unlike you, I value education. So let’s forget about everything that happened in the woods that night and we’ll ignore each other for the rest of our lives.” Even saying it tasted like poison in her mouth.

Crossing his arms in front of her, Cassian stared her down. “No. You’re going to hear me out, Nesta, about Mor, about that picture, about everything.”

“I don’t care about Mor. About you! About everything!” She splayed her arms in the air, infuriated and annoyed.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” He pointed a finger at her, his brown eyes matching the flame in hers. ‘ _When will she stop lying to me—to herself?!’_

They can scream all they want and nobody would know they were here. The room was soundproof.  “Stop pretending you know me!” Nesta ran her hand down her hair. The man in front of her has never got on her nerve as bad as this.

“Oh yeah?” That night, he knew Nesta was as attracted to him as he was to her. With that thought Cassian suddenly enclosed the space between them in one step, chest to chest proximity. Instinctively, she moved back.

“Yeah.” She managed to get some steel in her voice. He took another step and so did she until she felt her back against the wall. Pinned in place, Nesta watched as Cassian placed both hands on the wall in either side of her face to solidify their position.  He was close, close enough to—Nesta’s eyes dropped to his lips.

“Wha-what are you doing?” She nearly winced at her stuttering but his gaze was too electrifying to break from. Up close, Cassian was entrancing—cheekbones that could cut you and his jawline for days. Not to mention his intense stare. Nesta’s heart raced like a runner on the go. This felt new to her senses.

From his view, Nesta looked vulnerable. He caught her off guard. Her cheeks reddened in a different shade from earlier—more pinkish than the angry scarlet she usually has when in fury. God, he wanted her badly. Like Eve and the apple, he didn’t even need the snake to goad him. Leaning closer to whisper in her ear, “Proving you wrong, I know you better than you think.”

Her breath hitched. She shut her eyes, feeling his breath on her neck. Damn, he was good. Abruptly opening her eyes, her train of thought echoed in her mind. _‘Exactly, he’s good. For fucks sake he’s done this to many more women. He knows every trick in the book. He’s just using this to make me give in like the others did.’_ With Cassian’s stance relaxed, Nesta slipped under his arm. “I am not another conquest for you, Cassian. You think you’re so hot and gifted at soccer.” Cassian pushed off the wall and faced her. “You’re the epitome of a dickhead!”

It felt like he was in the forest with Mor again—muddy opinions thrown at his face, stabbing his very being. He masked his pain away and raised an eyebrow cockily, “Is that what you really think of me? Cause just last Thursday you were more than ready to blow me.”

In response, Nesta grabbed her history books by the piano and threw them at Cassian’s chest. She seethed, breathing deeper and deeper as she fumes in anger. “You motherfucker.”

“Did you really just do that?” A spine from one of the books hit his rib and he clutched the spot. Pissed—that’s what he was.

Nesta ignored his obvious pain, “And why would I blow someone with a micropenis , who also sends pictures of his teeny tiny dick to every girl he likes.”

Is this how she ignores problems by telling lies? Cassian became fed up with her and shoved her, “How many times do I have to tell you that was a mistake!”

The back of her thighs met the edge of the teacher’s desk. “Did you just fucking shove me?”

“You started it. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t get you a free pass.” He snarled directly at her face.

“Look who became a feminist all of a sudden. But _nobody_ fucking shoves me.” She shoved him with both hands because they both know she couldn’t take him with only one. She panted, somewhat drained by the shove. His steady chest was hard to push but she succeeded.

He went for her but Nesta sprinted across the chairs and instruments, “Well, nobody insults me.” He ran after her, throwing all obstacles aside to get to the hellion.

The running made her exhausted, she felt like she was nine years old again playing in their backyard with Elain and Feyre. Nesta’s eyes trained on the tall man charging her way, she circled the room, throwing chairs to hurdle his way. “You and your massive ego! You don’t even have a last name,” She stopped in front of the blackboard, using the teacher’s desk as a final obstacle. “And a mother, and a father.”

Cassian’s speed at the mention of his parents went blindingly fast, he basically destroyed a plastic chair on his way to her. Nesta thought Cassian would approach her at the front of the desk not by the sides, so when he went for her right side she meant to run but he had already taken her by the collar. He was a mess, his hair was in disarray from the running and there was sweat plastered onto his forehead. Not to mention, the snarl on his face. Nesta would have been terrified if she didn’t have a justifiable reason to hate him, too. _‘You know he wouldn’t truly hurt you.’_ The back of her mind uttered and she shut that up.

The temperature of the room rose as they stared at each other, fury and breathing in unison. His heart was hammering like crazy as he held her collar and pulled close to him. “Take. That. Back.” Cassian enunciated.

With their close proximity, Nesta could see her reflection in his eyes. The tightening of her collar hurt her nape and she struggled as she said, “No.”

A second of silence passed as they glared at each other with the massive weight of hatred. However, the seconds that followed didn’t surprise them both. They abandoned their lies and masks, and let their true nature take course in the decrepit room. In perfect synchronization, they lunged for each other’s lips like wild beasts. Nesta savored the feel of Cassian’s tender lips and then his mouth. Truth be told, in all her tongue kissing experiences this was the best. He let go of her collar to hold her hips, enclosing the space between them. Feeling his strain below against her belly, she gasped into his mouth.

All of a sudden, Cassian gripped her hair and tugged, her head arched backward exposing her bare neck. He lightly bit her neck and she growled, “You’re absolutely barbaric.”

“And you absolutely love it.” Cassian made sure he left marks along her skin. She isn’t another conquest for him, she isn’t another one night stand, and she isn’t another fuckbuddy. Nesta Archeron did not know the impact her existence had on the man. She was his supernova and he was her star. The two felt like they would explode in the heat of their actions.

Tugging tufts of Cassian’s black hair, she brought her lips back to his. He whispered in between kisses, “Jump.”

Nesta was confused by his request and jumped, she was met by a small laugh from Cassian.

“Not like that, newbie.” He patted her thighs, gripping them through her jeans. “Jump and then wrap your legs around me.” _‘Didn’t she already do that position?’_

Cheeks flushed in embarrassment, she let out a low, “Oh.” And then she did what he said, strong arms held the back of her thighs and he pressed her to the whiteboard. It reminded her of that night in the woods, where she was in the same position with Cassian except it was a tree trunk behind her. She felt the cold surface against her back but it didn’t bother her, Cassian was emanating enough heat for them and so did she.

Pushed against the board, Nesta took in the sight of Cassian. He was painfully handsome, just thinking what he would do to her later, tingles her system. She took matters into her own hands, quite literally—her hands roved under his black shirt. She remembered how muscular Cassian was and suddenly she wanted this cloth off. Right now. “Get your damn shirt out of the way.” She said huskily, scraping her nails further down his flesh.

Nesta was a fiend with her nails, he was sure they’d leave marks. It seems they’re both a fan of rough play. He complied, discarding the shirt. “Your turn,” Cassian said.

Her fingers were more than ready to unbutton her shirt but Cassian waved her hand away. He met her gaze as his veiny hands ripped her shirt off with brute force, its buttons popping and landing on the floor. Nesta didn’t even care about her damaged top as she threw it on the ground, all she could think was how hot the action was. His eyes familiarized itself to her body. How convenient that the bra she wore opened at the front, she unclipped it and exposed her breasts.  

He dipped his head down and licked her nipples alternatingly until they hardened under his tongue, Cassian could feel her moans and her breathing turning ragged. He went back up for her lips, no matter what they do, kissing is the one act he prefers most. His lips were tender and hers were sensuous, they both know what they’re doing. Cassian thought of spending his recess time with Nesta in pure make out bliss. Unexpectedly, Nesta bit his lip.

He pulled back, “Wha-“

She placed an index finger against his lips, “Shush, take your pants off.” To emphasize her point, she palmed his bulge and he nearly hissed at the friction. God, he was rock hard down there.

Nesta removed her legs from around his waist and stood, letting him unzip his fly and push his ripped jeans down to show his long, erected member. Now, to finish what they had started in the woods that night—his wood. Nesta held in her laughter as Cassian once again gathered her golden brown hair in a bunch and pushed her down. He used the teacher’s desk behind him for support and leaned on it.

Kneeling on the cold floor, Nesta held his cock and teasingly licked the head. She took her time, dragging it out only on that area—never venturing elsewhere. Cassian’s impatience was clear when he thrusted into her, making her gag at the length in her mouth. She rolled her tongue around its entirety and using her other hand to cup his balls. Moans of him reverberated in the room. Wickedly, Nesta scraped her teeth along his length and got a hiss from Cassian. He pulled her hair back to look at her, “What the fuck was that for?”

He couldn’t believe his eyes, Nesta Archeron gave him a blowjob and was kneeling before him tits out. Gods, how many times did he think of how hot she was? “That was for the public humiliation earlier in the hallway.”

“Oh, you’re pulling that card now.” Nesta didn’t like his tone one bit, “Just wait for my cards. Stand up, it’s your turn, Archeron.”

Nesta stood and wiped her mouth. She watched as Cassian completely got out from his bunched up jeans and got fully naked. _‘Damn, those thighs could take me away any day.’_ Nesta shook her head at the thought, hiding a smile.

“You better eat me out good, Cassian.” She demanded, sitting atop the desk, smirking. Nesta fondled her breasts and he watched shortly before he broke out of the trance.

“I’ll give you a lady wood for days.” They had a chaste kiss then Cassian removed her jeans and shoes, leaving her in only white underwear. Never had they been this naked in front of each other.

Nesta lied down on the table and let Cassian part her legs. She closed her eyes and let her senses only feel and not see. Slowly, he removed her panty.

“Let me tell you a story of how we really met.” Cassian knelt and grabbed her ankles until her thighs were halfway down the edge of the desk. “It started when I asked Mor her number.”

He grinned as he beheld the wetness of her pussy, “Little did I know, she gave me a fake number. I was ecstatic thinking I had her digits.” He parted the skin covering her clit—it was semi-showing already, and licked. Nesta jolted. “So, I went to celebrate my accomplishment with my friends in a bar. What a mistake that was.” He licked her again.

Intensely, Nesta listened to his explanation and also waited for his tongue and fingers.

“I got drunk and when I came home, I thought I should give Mor a sign of my attraction,” He lightly rubbed her bud, “So in my intoxicated state, I sent her a dick pic. Again, not knowing it wasn’t her number.”

“Foolish boy.” She uttered, breathing heavily as his finger steadily stimulated her.

“I heard you pestered Feyre for the entire night, the moment you received it.” He stopped his actions and she nearly whined. “That’s why she took you to see us the next morning, as payback.”

“So, that’s why we’re here naked, huh?” Nesta opened her eyes, thinking about it. “And you didn’t even apologize to Mor?”

Cassian sucked on her clit, “I did through the text, first. Where I thought it was her number, remember that text?”

“Oh, yeah.” Nesta looked back on that day. “You chased Mor.”

“You asked who the fuck I was.” Cassian grinned, licking her entire slit. “And my second apology was during field trip. She said she panicked when I asked because I had a strong impression on her, like a douche.”

 _‘That explains what they were doing in the forest early in the morning.’_ Biting her lip as Cassian inserted a finger inside her, “Guess that hurt you a lot.”

“Yeah,” he admitted, pumping a few times before adding another finger to the rhythm. He did the ‘come here’ motion with his fingers that he knew hit the spot.

Nesta arched her back as soon as his fingers hit it, “Fuck.”

Cassian did it over and over again, his pace getting faster every second and just to drive her over the edge he licked her clit with the same speed as his fingers. She was close and he knew it. Abruptly, Cassian stopped his thrusting for seconds.

Nesta whined from the loss of pleasure, “Cassian.”

He raised his head to look up at her, hair in disarray and sweat plastered on her forehead. “That’s for you nasty comment about my parents.”

In urgent need of a release, Nesta grabbed his head and forced it down. She moaned as she felt his tongue and fingers in action again. The combination brought trembles across Nesta’s body as she climaxed. The satisfaction she felt was overwhelming. He gave her a few moments of respite before he withdrew his slick digits and hovered over her.

“How was it, princess?” He felt proud of himself.

Having recovered from her orgasm, Nesta said through clenched teeth, “I’ll shove a pineapple down your ass if you call me a princess again.”

Cassian leaned down to kiss Nesta again and she had no problem with that. They couldn’t have enough of each other’s lips. She could feel him smile against her lips. “Now that the foreplay is over, let’s get to the real deal.”

Nesta laid back down and splayed her legs wide for him to stand between. “Oh my god, you’re one of those guys who think foreplay is shit compared to coitus.”

“Yeah and you’ll understand soon why I think that.” He winked at her, with a devilish smile.

Nesta rolled her eyes and watched as he stroked his erect length, placing it near her entrance.  “Are you sure, you know what you’re doing?” She teased, “Have you ever had sex, micrope—“

Cassian pinched her nipple, “You better watch your words if you want to cum again.” He said huskily.

The act thrilled Nesta. In all her sexual life, she was always the dominant one. It was exhilarating to have Cassian there. Here, they were equals. There were no submissive and dominant. They were both sub-dom. “You wouldn’t.”

He grabbed her jaw, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Watch me.” And he entered her.

Placing his hands to her hips, he thrusted hard into her. They’re eyes unwavering from one another as they fucked. Even if Nesta admitted that Cassian was good, it would still be an understatement. The man what to do—what spot to hit. Her nails clawed at his lower back and soon she gripped his rear. Cassian smirked, of course Nesta would be the only woman to grab his ass like that.

“Flip.” Cassian said, withdrawing.

Nesta got up from the table and turned around, her back facing Cassian. She bent over the desk and braced her hand for later. She knew he wanted to go deep into her. _‘My legs probably won’t function later for lunch.’_

He held her ass tightly and slapped it. Nesta jerked at the sudden sting, “That’s for the books you threw at me earlier.”

With that Cassian once again tugged at her hair as he thrusted inside her. The feeling of lust and grew along with the feeling of romance he feels for the incredible woman before him. He pushed her close to him. He kissed the nape of her neck as his other hand slithered to his bud and rubbed it in circular motions. The sounds of their flesh meeting dominated the room, followed by Nesta’s moans.

“Oh, God.” She whimpered as she felt herself once again in the verge of an orgasm.

Cassian bit her earlobe and went faster with his fingers and hips. He felt it, he was near climax. He restrained on releasing it until Nesta cums. With the right amount of pressure and roughness, he kept on going.

Heaven—is this it? Her body jolted with the sensation of release she had never felt before. The entire encounter was intense. Nesta collapsed on the desk, sweaty and exhausted. Cassian pulled out and came at the floor; he didn’t want to cum in Nesta’s back without her permission. After unloading his seed, which took a while—not because he struggled but because of the amount he jerked out. It was literally loads, he neared Nesta. Their heavy inhales and exhales nearly matched each other.

“I have to admit…you’re one of a kind.” She said in between breaths, standing to get her jeans and undergarments.

Cassian stared at her behind as she bent down to get her clothes, he left a pink mark on her from earlier. “I’m sorry for being rough earlier.”

“So am I.” Putting on her bra and panty, “But I actually like hardcore as long as it’s not life damaging.”

“Another thing we have in common.” He copied her actions, and put on his boxers and jeans.

“Although I suffer consequences from it like, you know losing my top while cutting classes.” Nesta crossed her arms and glared daggers at him.

Cassian grinned sheepishly, “You can take my shirt.” Taking the aforementioned clothing from the ground and threw it at her.

“It’s too big and what, you’re going to go topless around school?” She halted picking up her books from across the room, to catch the shirt. It smelled of his cologne.

They both got fully clad—except for Nesta in a few minutes. “No, I have an extra in my gym locker.” He tied his shoelaces and approached her.

“You really wanna go to your gym locker shirtless?” She asked.

He shrugged. “I know a shortcut there.” And with that Nesta wore his oversized shirt on her.

The bell rang, meaning lunch. Their squad would be waiting for them, and they can’t see them like this. They’d know just by looking at his shirt that she’s wearing and the marks on her neck.

“They can’t see me wearing this.” She points at his shirt.

“I’ll tell the guys to eat someplace else or something.” Cassian says.

Nesta nods. “Good enough. I’ll go first.” Heading to the doorway, books clutched in hand.

“Sure, yeah.” He followed her out.

“Cassian,” Nesta faced him, one hand on the doorknob, “I absolutely loathe you.”

He would be confused if it weren’t for the smile on her face. Another rare thing this day—he never thought a Monday could be so wonderful. “I loathe you, too.”

She left with a true smile and a rosy blush that crept to her cheeks. Nesta felt like a teenager in the movies—a totally jubilant one with her heads in the clouds.

Cassian shut the door behind him and smiled at the ceiling. Her words floating in his mind—it was the beginning of something great. He left topless and with a grin plastered to his face, never faltering. He also left forgetting to clean his load from the ground.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was worth the wait. ;)


	14. Discovery Planet

The group had lunch at their usual café outside school. Amren was doing a good job in maintaining eating a four layered sandwich and ranting about Ianthe’s annoying existence without spewing pieces of her food at anyone’s face. Nesta thought it as a talent. She glanced over Cassian across the table. He was smiling at Amren’s current state, then caught her stare and winked. Nesta checked if any of their friends saw and when it was clear everyone was immersed with her small friend’s mad speech, she shot Cassian a look that said ‘ _I’ll get back at you, later.’_

 It’s been a week since they did _it_ and the two have been seeing, texting, touching each other secretly. Though they haven’t established what they were, they did acknowledge it was better to stay unknown to their friends, for now. Nesta reminisced with a tiny smile, the text Cassian sent to her. _‘still think I have a micro dick? ;)’_ It said, referring to the event that had happened seven hours ago.

 _‘Don’t be cocky….’_ She replied, and eagerly waited for his response which came instantly.

_‘ahhh, so she does make puns. do continue to surprise me just don’t throw any more books at me’_

_‘That depends…’_

_‘depends on what?’_

_‘If you’ll stay.’_ The moment she hit send, irritation filled her. Why would she send such a thing? It made her sound needy…but at the same time she was checking what she wanted to happen between them. Everything that happened with Cassian wasn’t fast. It was gradual. And that was strange for her; she usually had flings that go as fast as it came. She was unsure how to treat this with him but Nesta was certain of one thing.

 _‘who said I was leaving in the first place??? (*3*)’_ At that, Nesta grinned. She may not be sure with plenty of things right now but she wanted him to stay. The text convo sparked many more in the following days whether it’d be in the middle of the night, during classes, or early morning. None of them complained, anyway.

“…I swear to God, I’ll kill myself if I have to endure another moronic conversation with her.” Amren said, finishing her sandwich and her hate speech.

 “She was squealing like crazy yesterday, something about your game in Wednesday.” Feyre looked at Rhysand, sitting beside her. “I heard her being excited cheering for you guys.”

Nesta scoffed. “At least, someone’s excited for the game.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Rhys crossed his arms, “It’s a pretty big deal. We’re going against our school’s rival—Hybern.”

“And it’s the first game of the season. So it’s gonna be intense.” Azriel joined in. “Our coach is practically killing us.”

Nesta was aware of how tough their coach treated them, thanks to Cassian texting her after training. She simply shrugged and pretended to be uninterested.

“My sister thinks watching football is a waste of her time. Her so, so, so valuable time.” Feyre informed the boys.

Nesta felt Amren shoulder her. “Watch a game for once. You might find someone dreamy to look at, you know, to keep you entertained if the sport failed to do that.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“You’re gonna have a hard time looking for somebody hot in Hybern. Even their star player resembles a foot.” Cassian leaned back into his seat. His voice easygoing yet his gaze were hard.

Rhysand and Azriel nodded in agreement.

“That can’t be right.” Amren’s brows were furrowed. “There has to be at least _one_ hot dude in their team.”

Rhys put an arm around Feyre’s chair, “Cass ain't lying when he said nobody’s attractive in Hybern. Watch the game, you’ll see.”

“Maybe we will. Won’t we, girl.” Amren nudged her friend.

“Mhmmm, fine.” Pretending as if she was convinced by Amren when in fact, her mind is already made up to attend the game the moment Cassian mentioned it.

“Yey!”

And across the table, Cassian smirked as if he knew what she was doing.

 

*            *            *            *            *

The bell rang for dismissal and students flocked toward the hallways. Nesta passed by a janitor banging on the closet. “Hey! Open up. I’ve had it with you horny kids.” And seconds later, her little sister and Rhys came out apologizing to the pissed off janitor. “You two, again!” Rhys only grinned sheepishly and tugged at Feyre, probably off to another make-out spot.

Nesta shook her head and made her way towards her locker. Dumping several books inside the metal container, she felt a presence behind her.

“My place tonight?” Cassian whispered, his breath tickling her neck.

She shut her locker and faced him. “That’s a bold request coming from someone who has football practice tonight.”

“Aww, come on. It ends in eight. Plenty of time for…” He wiggled his brows playfully.

Nesta smacked his shoulder, though she doubts he felt much. “You need to rest. You have a game in two days. We can wait after your game.”

“I can’t wait.”

“No, your penis can’t wait.” Nesta scouted if anyone was looking at them, so far nobody was invested in their chat. Knowing Cassian’s reputation, their privacy won’t last long.

“It’s not just sex. We haven’t even had a proper hang out ever since…” His tone reflected sincerity.

Nesta inhaled. “I know but we’ve no choice but to wait. Lil Dicky has to wait.” And she walked away.

“I thought we had an agreement not to call it that!” He shouted across the hallway.

 

*            *            *            *            *

Wednesday arrived easily and Feyre, Amren, and Nesta sat among their fellow schoolmates in the bleachers. The players of both teams were warming up in the field in front of them. Cassian and Thesan kicked a ball back and forth each other.

“Damn it, they were right. I’ve never seen a team so sparse of appealing men.” Amren’s gray eyes scanned the faces of Hybern’s players.

“Ooh, I bet he’s the star player.” Feyre pointed at a pale bulky man.

Nesta scrutinized her sister, “Because he looks like a foot?”

“Bingo.”

The three laughed and made fun of their opponent’s features until the blare of the horn signified the beginning of the game. Twenty minutes in the game and Nesta was shouting and cheering for her school’s team. She had to admit it was thrilling to witness a football game. Cassian was a hunter and everyone was his prey. He was different in the field. His prowess and speed impressed Nesta—not that she was gonna admit that, yet.

“Go Rhysand!” Feyre cheered multiple times, her hands cupped around her mouth.

Nesta covered her ears. “Chill, Jesus Christ.”

“Look at Cass, that boy is on fire.” Amren commented.

Indeed he was. He kicked a ball with fierce strength across the massive field and scored. Nesta shouted in glee and Cassian met her gaze. She swore her heart skipped a beat.

 

*            *            *            *            *

Drops of cold water pelted down on Cassian’s tanned skin as he showered. “That was a heavy competition.” said Rhys from the shower stall beside him. The squeaking of the knob echoed as he turned the shower off. ‘

“They might be fugly but they sure know how to fight.” He was tired, his body strained. After winning the game, all he wants as of the moment is to bury himself in his bed and sleep for days.

“The coach is down for celebratory drinks later. His treat.” Az said, somewhere in the bathroom. “I’m in.”

“I’ll pass.” Cass turned the shower off. He wrapped a towel around his waist and left the stall.

Az and Rhys were both dressed, they leaned against the sink and looked at him. “Why?”

“Tired as fuck.” He sighed, running a hand through his damp hair.

“See you tomorrow, then.” Az patted his shoulder and along with Rhys, left the misty bathroom.

Cassian started to head over his gym locker to clothe himself when hurried footsteps reverberated in the room. He barely had time to turn where the sound came from, when he felt slender hands wrap around his bare torso.

“Hey.” Nesta leaned her head against his back and closed her eyes. She savored the feeling of his skin, the smell of soap and mint shampoo.

“How long have you been waiting for Az and Rhys to leave?” He wound his fingers together with hers.

“Do I look like the type to wait for a while on some guy?”

“I don’t know. You keep surprising me.”

“Then I guess, you’ll be even more surprised,” Nesta swung him around to face her with unexpected strength. “To hear that I didn’t come here just to hug you.”

Cassian’s eyes widened as she slowly knelt in the tiled floor and eyed his bulge over the towel. “Wh-what.”

Nesta smiled mischievously and groped his member. “Congratulations are in order,” she batted her eyelashes up at him. “You were amazing in the field.”

It didn’t take long until his towel hit the floor and his moans dominated the bathroom.

 

*            *            *            *            *

Pure bliss followed the entire week. Nesta felt high on Cassian’s kisses. Cassian couldn’t contain a minute without Nesta. They had the usual passive aggressiveness attitude towards each other in front of their peers. However, behind closed doors or the janitor’s broom closet, they were pretty much in love and in lust.

“Remind me again, why we’re here in my sister’s favorite make out spot.” Nesta had her arms wrapped around Cassian’s neck, and they were getting cozy against the utility shelf.

“Because it’s the only place available and in close proximity.” He gave her a quick peck on the lips.

“What a risk we’re taking. Don’t we have to meet up with the gang for food somewhere?” She remembered Amren talking about some fine cuisine dining in downtown.

Cassian frowned, “Oh, yeah.”

“We’ll have more time later, your place?” She had been going to his place for some time now, of course avoiding meeting his mother every single time.’

“Alright.” They disentangled themselves from each other and went for the door.

 

*            *            *            *            *

“Where the fuck are they?” For a woman her size, Amren bulldozed over the crowd of students in the hallway like a giant. “I said to meet up exactly four o’clock in the parking lot.”

“The two are probably making out again. I don’t know where Nesta and Cass are.” said Az, hot on Amren’s heels.

“Send them a text where the fuck they are.” Amren demanded, she was heading for the closet in which Feyre and Rhys are notoriously known to make out in.

Az was typing on his phone instantly.

They reached the closet in no time and Amren was about to knock and demand the two to get the fuck out, when Feyre and Rhys appeared ahead of them, walking towards them from the other end of the corridor. “Oh, there they are.”

“Hey, where’s Nesta and Cassian?” Feyre waved at them.

Before Amren could say “I don’t know,” the closet door opened and revealed a messy haired Cass and behind him was a blushing Nesta whose blouse was buttoned down wrong. They both wore surprised looks.

“Oh my effing God.” Amren exclaimed.

It was safe to say they all wore a look of astonishment. _Ting._ Cassian’s phone went off followed by Nesta’s _bzzzzz._  

“At least, they got my message.” said Az.

 

*            *            *            *            *

The first five minutes of the ride to downtown was in complete silence. The soft purring of Rhysand’s car engine and the whoosh of the AC was the only thing audible. Rhys drove, eyes focused on the road, though his mind was far off. Az was in the passenger seat, brows furrowed as if in deep thought. Feyre and Amren sat in the back with Cassian and Nesta. The former pair kept eyeing the two through their peripheral, waiting for some form of interaction between them. Nesta and Cassian’s response after getting caught was “It’s not what it looks like.” coming from Cassian, and a hurried “We can explain.” from the Archeron sister. They stared at each other with confusion and that was the last time they uttered something. The silence was eating through everyone even Az.

“Are you two doing the dance with no pants?” Feyre demanded, and the entire group broke down in to a jumble of questions.

“Is Nesta the one you were talking about during camping that morning?” From the passenger seat, Az craned his head to look at Cass.

“How long have you two been sneaking around?” Amren asked.

Looking at them through the rearview mirror, Rhys said “Are you two dating?”

That was the last coherent question Nesta heard because afterwards another wave of questions followed, this one spoken more rapidly. Nesta heard segments like “How big…”, “…in the bushes?” “What on earth were you thinking?”, and “…stealing our make out closet.”

“Everybody shut up!” Nesta yelled. “These questions are ridiculous. What are you second graders?”

“Do we tell them?” Cassian whispered.

“Looks like we’ve got no choice now, don’t we?” Nesta met each of their gazes except for Rhys. “I think it’s safe to say that we are fucking. We’ve been sneaking around for more than a week now. And we don’t know yet if we are dating.” She tried her best to remember their questions—the acceptable ones.

Cassian simply said, “Yes, Az, she’s the one I was talking about back then.” The other boy only nodded and faced the road, content with his question being answered.

“What’s he talking about?” Nesta asked, stormy eyes piercing Cassian.

“I’ll tell you sometime.”

“So how’d this thing start?” Rhys questioned, they were in a stoplight.

“Funny story,” Nesta grinned devilishly and Cassian was worried, “Cassian is Wang Guy.”

“WHAT?”

“Is this for real?”

“So that’s what you were talking about.”

In pure embarrassment, Cassian covered his face with his hands, hoping the world would dissolve.

 

*            *            *            *            *

The latter half of their journey to the restaurant and the time spent waiting for their order to arrive was spent by Nesta retelling the tale of their romance. Cassian's occasional grunting was his only response all the while. Finally, Nesta finished and Feyre shook her head in disgust. "I can't believe I've seen your junk. Ugh." 

"Can we all please move on." He crossed his arms and glared at Nesta.

She raised her hands in defense. "What? How was I supposed to tell them how this started then?" 

Cass just huffed.

"It's alright, dude. We've all done something regretful when drunk." Rhys patted his shoulder reassuringly.

"This is unbelievable." Amren's gaze moved back and forth the two newfound lovers. 

"You know what else is unbelievable?" Az said, scanning their surroundings. "This place has a club underground, it opens at 7."

Amren grinned like a wolf across the booth they were seated in. "Why do you think I wanted to go here?" 

"Because of its 'fine dining?'" Feyre quoted the tiny woman.

"True but it's mostly about the club. Cheap good food here and amazing dancefloor downstairs. Aren't I the genius?"

The food arrived and they were met with mouthwatering sights of cuisines scented like the stuff of heaven. 

"I gotta give it to Amren, she's done it once again." Rhys raised a glass of his lemonade to propose a toast, the others followed his gesture. "To Amren."

"To Amren." Everyone repeated.

"And to the dick pic that brought Cass and Nesta together." They all clinked glasses and everybody had a good laugh, even Cassian.

 

*            *            *            *            *

The underground club was a wonderland of blazing lights and electro music. The gang sat in a round table inside one of many alcoves that surrounded the dancefloor--which was dominated by teenagers. Amren pouted and looked down at her belly. "It was a bad idea to eat and then head down here."

"Same, I'm so full." Az rubbed his stomach and slouched on the cushioned seat.

"I'm gonna let it digest before dancing." Feyre said, placing her head on Rhysand's shoulder who kissed the top of her forehead.

Nesta and Cassian stared at their friends who looked like seniors past their prime compared to the energetic teens on the dancefloor. "Well, I'm gonna dance." Nesta declared, she grabbed Cassian's wrist and led him to the center of the club. They pushed past couples and groups of people dancing and jumping along. 

"I don't know what to feel." Cass said once they were in the middle.

Nesta was befuddled. "What do you mean?"

"Like, they know now about us. It was just so..." He pulled her close and gazed at the most beautiful and fiercest woman he'd ever met.

"Sudden and unexpected?" 

"Yeah."

Nesta looked up at him. Cassian had the warmest eyes she'd ever seen. "Come to think of it, we've come a long way."

"We have, haven't we?" They started swaying even though the song was hyped up. Cassian held her waist and Nesta looped her arms around his neck. "Remember when I had to carry you to the clinic because you sprained your ankle?"

"I hated you so much." She rolled her eyes and grinned. "Oh! Remember the sex store we went in?"

Cassian laughed hard, his eyes crinkling. "And you accused me of bringing us there intentionally." 

She smacked his shoulder.

"Ow!" 

Then Nesta's face grew serious. "Cass, I know it's too soon for us but I was just thinking wh-"

"What we are? Where is this heading?" Cassian finished for her.

Nesta nodded.

"I've been thinking about it, too." His hand flew to cup her face. "Nesta, I like you so damn much. I'm actually scared because I've never felt this before."

She drew her face closer to his and sighed. "Me too. Cass, I've fallen."

"And I've dived in too deep." 

For a while, they just swayed against the current of young people bouncing, jumping, and waving their hands in the air. They lived in the moment.

"How about we make a promise that one day we'll be a couple. Whether it'll be tomorrow, next week, next month or next year." Nesta lightly touched the hairs at the back of his head. "That way we'll be reassured that this is heading somewhere and it's not just a fling."

"Alright, Archeron." Cassian leaned his head against hers. "I'm down for that."

"Good, Lil Dicky."

"Fuck you."

"Fuck you, too."

And they cursed at each other while swaying to Daft Punk. Though it didn't matter, they moved like they had their own world and their own song to it. Little did they know, they were being watched by their friends from the alcove.

"Look at those love loons." Feyre was smiling to the nines. "I ship them."

"That means we've got competition for the spot of the broom closet." said Rhys, still slouched beside Az who was scrolling through his IG feed.

Amren stood and leaned against the alcove wall, watching the two sway--looking ridiculous in their surroundings. "I have a feeling their gonna last long."

And she was not wrong. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am grateful to the readers who spent their time on my work and my words. It has been a journey writing TIL. Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. :) I'll publish each chapter when I get a chance and I will be finishing this fic. If you can comment, please do. I love responses whether they're negative or positive. Hehe. I also apologize for updating very late due to school :(


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